5 definitions by Jeepers McGillicutty
An Ooda-lollian is somebody you would think came right out of an old Disney animated movie a-la Baloo in The Jungle Book circa 1967. These are individuals whose life skills equal exactly two. The first would be the ability to sing the right words to a song (albeit off key) while smoking a stogie. Their second skill will always be some delusion they have of being the right mentor at any time, and miraculously convincing some disenfranchised youth the very same. The implications for those he sees as his wards can become dire. For instance, if a folie à deux were to evolve, the ooda-lollian could impress upon the youth that they are actually able to command wild beasts, fly from treetop to treetop, or even survive alone in the bush at the age of seven. Unfortunately, this is also how new Ooda-lollians come about. All it takes is one misguided sloth of an Ooda-lollian convincing anybody who might listen, that "you can do anything you put your mind to", one youth eventually experiencing a psychotic break, succumbing to the delusion, and renouncing the reality he was once part of to trigger a devolution the likes of which have never been documented.
Stupid Ooda-lollian thinks hes gonna teach me something about how to handle a wild honey badger. Shit, all's ya gotta do is stick your finger in it's little mouth. Oh wait, that was for beaver. My wife taught me that. She said that beavers like when you stick your finger in their little wet mouths.
by Jeepers McGillicutty March 12, 2023
by Jeepers McGillicutty October 16, 2011
This act is when your finger happens to slip through the toilet paper and you find yourself on the business end of it. Aptly named due to the same surprise one would experience during "The Shocker"
Man I took on an extra job in the shitter when I was finishing up the paperwork and I pulled a reverse shocker on myself.
by Jeepers McGillicutty March 11, 2023
A shucksey darner is basically just a yocal or community of yocals that, due to geographic isolation, have only ever been able to receive the Disney Channel for generations. An allopatric speciation has occurred, and unbeknownst to the community, the entirety of their collective vocabularies had been commuted to a single, three page lexicon. Words such as jinkies, shucks, darn, phooey, gee willikers, and jeepers had become the harshest exclamations one could receive from a shucksey darner. Not only did their communal vernacular diminish, the behaviors and mannerisms each one exhibited, without exception, would include dragging a foot in the dirt while staring down as they sheepishly whisper "garsh or golly." Every member of a shucksey darner community will share in each other's embarrassment, shame, guilt, humiliation, remorse, and stigma as if it were them who were the transgressors. If one were to pass loud gas, it would come to pass that it was everyone who did the dirt. Likewise, were one to accidentally fall penis-first into their neighbor's old lady, it would come to pass that everybody, even those without a penis, had accidentally stuck it in young Mrs. Floozy-Tramp. Research is still underway to discern whether these characteristics were the product of inbreeding, or from the curtailed source of stimuli available to that region.
I have an unassailable alibi ready at all times now that I know about those shucksey darners living up on White Mountain. Those hayseeds are incapable of understanding dishonesty, so I would just have to make a pinky swear with the go-funny eye girl that I had been peeling the taters round back this whole time.
by Jeepers McGillicutty March 12, 2023
A Nuclear Cough is when you cough so hard you shit your pants a little bit. Aptly named due to the fallout.
Man I was so sick last night I had a Nuclear Cough and ended up having to clean up more than I had expected.
by Jeepers McGillicutty March 11, 2023