Here is: We are standing underneath an apple tree. I reach up and grab an apple. You, then, swipe the apple out of my hand...
Hym "What... In the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?"
Everyone *polishing the apple* "If you want an apple you have climb to the top of the tree."
Hym "..... Nooo.... I don't. You just saw me grab it. You watched me grab it and now you're keeping it from me."
Everyone "Yeah, I had to climb the tree and I didn't even make it to the top."
Hym "Ok... And I didn't... It didn't have to do that. There was an apple hanging right there and I grabbed it. So... Fork it over." 🤲🤨
Everyone "Yeah but you have to work hard to get apples. What? You think people shouldn't have to work hard for apples? I was watching you climb the tree before. You can do it."
Hym "First off, you shouldn't be watching me. Secondly, no... I had the apple in my hand. Whether I worked hard for it is irrelevant. Third, there is a crackhead at the top of the tree with a 15 year old Russian prostitute on his lap. I watched his father fly him to the top in a helicopter. I mentioned this chicks name once and these assholes brought her a ladder. There's a retard laying on the ground over there and half a dozen whores are spitting apple bits into his mouth. I'm not climbing that tree until I need another apple. Which I don't. I have an apple. That one 👉 Who should get to eat the apple, if not me?"
Hym "What... In the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?"
Everyone *polishing the apple* "If you want an apple you have climb to the top of the tree."
Hym "..... Nooo.... I don't. You just saw me grab it. You watched me grab it and now you're keeping it from me."
Everyone "Yeah, I had to climb the tree and I didn't even make it to the top."
Hym "Ok... And I didn't... It didn't have to do that. There was an apple hanging right there and I grabbed it. So... Fork it over." 🤲🤨
Everyone "Yeah but you have to work hard to get apples. What? You think people shouldn't have to work hard for apples? I was watching you climb the tree before. You can do it."
Hym "First off, you shouldn't be watching me. Secondly, no... I had the apple in my hand. Whether I worked hard for it is irrelevant. Third, there is a crackhead at the top of the tree with a 15 year old Russian prostitute on his lap. I watched his father fly him to the top in a helicopter. I mentioned this chicks name once and these assholes brought her a ladder. There's a retard laying on the ground over there and half a dozen whores are spitting apple bits into his mouth. I'm not climbing that tree until I need another apple. Which I don't. I have an apple. That one 👉 Who should get to eat the apple, if not me?"
Everyone "Well... Me... I should eat the apple. I climbed the tree."
Hym "Nooo... Not for THAT apple you didn't. You climbing the tree for your apples doesn't have anything to do with me grabbing THAT apple and you taking it out of my hand and withholding it from me."
Everyone "You're not better than me! If I had to climb the tree then you have to climb the tree!"
Hym "You didn't climb the tree for that apple you asshole! If you love climbing the tree so goddamn much, give me my fucking apple and go climb the tree! Climb to the top for all I care! Climb to the top and go fuck yourself with the tallest branch! But you WILL NOT eat that apple instead of me. I would rather cook you like a pig, shove the apple in your mouth, and eat you both than climb that fucking tree. I would rather feed your grandmother an apple suppository and eat it out of her ass than climb that tree. Give. Me. The. Apple."
Iam "Hey, was that tree always here?"
Everyone & Hym 😐 😑
Iam "Oh, are we doing like an analogy thing here? Oop, my bad. I'll just... Yeah... I'll just leave... Sorry." 😅
Hym "Nooo... Not for THAT apple you didn't. You climbing the tree for your apples doesn't have anything to do with me grabbing THAT apple and you taking it out of my hand and withholding it from me."
Everyone "You're not better than me! If I had to climb the tree then you have to climb the tree!"
Hym "You didn't climb the tree for that apple you asshole! If you love climbing the tree so goddamn much, give me my fucking apple and go climb the tree! Climb to the top for all I care! Climb to the top and go fuck yourself with the tallest branch! But you WILL NOT eat that apple instead of me. I would rather cook you like a pig, shove the apple in your mouth, and eat you both than climb that fucking tree. I would rather feed your grandmother an apple suppository and eat it out of her ass than climb that tree. Give. Me. The. Apple."
Iam "Hey, was that tree always here?"
Everyone & Hym 😐 😑
Iam "Oh, are we doing like an analogy thing here? Oop, my bad. I'll just... Yeah... I'll just leave... Sorry." 😅
by Hym Iam September 20, 2022
It doesn't slap as hard as the first one. It just kind of vaguely alludes to some of the same general themes.
Hym "I mean, to be fair, it would be hard for Dragon's Monologue 2 to parallel the quality, let alone surpass, the monologue from the first Dragon's Dogma. But I was hoping they would at least make the attempt. Which loses you point. -1 for the intellectual cowardice."
Iam "Wait! There's a TRUE ending."
Hym "What? Ah shit. Alright. There better be a monologue. Your rating hangs in the balance."
Iam "Wait! There's a TRUE ending."
Hym "What? Ah shit. Alright. There better be a monologue. Your rating hangs in the balance."
by Hym Iam April 03, 2024
Is "Anti-Zionism" is the same as "Anti-Semitism" how am I wrong in saying that the Jews are a racially supremacist world domination amd breeding cult? That's literally what Zionism is.
Hym "I mean... I hate to rub it in your faces again but... If Anti-Zionism and Anti-Semitism are the same thing... I'm right in my assessment of the Jewish religion. It's basically just Nazi-Christianity. Christianity except the Jews are God's chosen people and the Reich will reign for 1000 years... Er- 2000 years. It's literally the same thing as Nazism. It's literally the thing Hitler said about the Germans. He tried to do the same thing."
by Hym Iam October 31, 2023
by Hym Iam April 12, 2025
I shat out a fuck trophy and/or bought a child... With money... And now I've granted myself the moral authority curate reality... Even to the detriment of other people... And in spite of the fact that I'm a national and global minority... Therefore, I'm justified in using them as social leverage... Becuase they are under threat... But I can't really do anything and never have or will do anything about the DIRECT threat... And that's not what I'm talking about anyway... I'm talking about ABSTRACT threat... The threat being "me not being the high cleric of reality curation"... The abstract threat is almost MORE important to me... And I can use the subtle conflation of the two to galvanize people to my cause... And fearmonger them into giving me supreme ideological control... And I don't ME as in "Me" but rather ME as an abstraction and...
Hym "But... If the family is the minimal necessary unit... Then you're all one thing... Which means you get 1 vote per family. Right? Or does it mean that 60% of the country and 74% of the world are unnecessary? We're LESS THAN the minimal necessary unit? What exactly does that mean?"
Dr. JeepJorp "We HaVe To PrOtEcT tHe ChIlDrEn!!!"
Hym "Yeah? What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of the infection eating away at my brain..."
Dr. JeepJorp "We HaVe To PrOtEcT tHe ChIlDrEn!!!"
Hym "Yeah? What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of the infection eating away at my brain..."
by Hym Iam March 25, 2023
Because it still seems like you're trying to mythologize evolution to avoid the stark reality that critical fat-cock theory is the one true dating theory to rule them all.
Hym "Really, how fat is your cock though? Cus, I got a million dollars to a bucket of dog-shit that fat-cock regardless of behavior had relatively more to do with sexual selection than anything you have to have to say about it."
by Hym Iam April 10, 2024
Hym "What would it take for ME to be the other guy? What kind of qualities would I have to have? What are the qualities of the guys she's already fucking? It isn't... Pfft... It isn't fatcock is it? Is it fatcock? Maybe kickboxer with a million dollars? Does she want to fuck my Imaginary Frankenstein!? YOU THE ME AND ANDY IS THE RETARD TO YOU! Andy is YOUR fatcock retard! Seriously, I'm not trying to gish-gallop but the format of this thing I'm doing makes it impossible not to gish-gallop. I genuinely want to know. What qualities does a man have to have to be the other guy in your relationship?"
by Hym Iam August 05, 2023