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Hubert Cumberdale Jr.'s definitions

Pittsburgh Pirate

A violent sexual act involving the thrusting of a an erect penis into a partner's open eye followed by kicking said partner's leg in a manner severe enough to cause significant pain and/or damage, temporarily giving them the appearance of a one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.
Things were going great with Emily until I gave her a Pittsburgh Pirate. Apparently most chicks aren't willing to lose the use of their limbs or eyes for the sake of unparalleled eroticism and unprecedented sexual gratification. Women.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 11, 2009
mugGet the Pittsburgh Piratemug.

January 11, 2024

The day 9/11 will officially become funny, as all tragedies become funny after 22.3 years.
I can't wait to start telling my best bin Laden jokes on January 11, 2024.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. June 9, 2011
mugGet the January 11, 2024mug.

European Tax

The mandatory gratuity American restaurants and bars add to the bill of foreign customers, particularly Europeans, who don't understand or willfully ignore American tipping customs. Also known as the English Tax, Australian Tax, etc.
Bartender 1: Oh shit, another big group of English people. The last time I got stuck serving their kind they stiffed me on a $200 tab.

Bartender 2: Just hit them with the European Tax, dude.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. April 28, 2011
mugGet the European Taxmug.

New Jersey

A radioactive wasteland you may mistakenly find yourself should you be visiting New York. If you end up here it likely means you accidentally entered the on ramp for the Lincoln Tunnel. Either that or you're trying to get to Pennsylvania or all other points west.

The inhabitants of North Jersey are orange-skinned freaks who speak a bastardized pastiche of English, Italian, and Ebonics and who eke out meager livings selling drugs and extorting local businesses for protection money. The inhabitants of South Jersey are cannibalistic subhuman swamp people who live in mud huts deep in the wilderness of the Pine Barrens. They will rape and then devour the unfortunate soul who wanders into their domain and search his remains for money to use on the slots in Atlantic City, their only potential source of income.
Shit, we're in New Jersey. Don't panic, just keep the windows rolled up and the doors locked.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. March 21, 2010
mugGet the New Jerseymug.

LRH

Scientologist shorthand for their fanatic, boy-touching scam artist of a messiah, L. Ron Hubbard.
Tom Cruise placed Baby Suri's crib in a shrine stacked with LRH memorabilia in the hopes that her Thetan would absorb his aura and as a means of protection against Xenu 's henchmen.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. March 4, 2008
mugGet the LRHmug.

Texas Jr.

A state directly north of Texas whose inhabitants imitate the dress, speech, and culture of Texans, whose claim to fame is being adjacent to Texas. Also known as Oklahoma.
I wanted to take a road trip down to Texas but since my car broke down I only made it as far as Texas Jr.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. March 21, 2010
mugGet the Texas Jr.mug.

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