Definitions by Hubert Cumberdale Jr.
Pittsburgh Pirate
A violent sexual act involving the thrusting of a an erect penis into a partner's open eye followed by kicking said partner's leg in a manner severe enough to cause significant pain and/or damage, temporarily giving them the appearance of a one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.
Things were going great with Emily until I gave her a Pittsburgh Pirate. Apparently most chicks aren't willing to lose the use of their limbs or eyes for the sake of unparalleled eroticism and unprecedented sexual gratification. Women.
Pittsburgh Pirate by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 11, 2009
Chick-fil-a
Like Domino's Pizza, a chain of fast food restaurants run by hardcore Christian fundamentalists. Unlike Domino's, however, Chick-fil-a's food doesn't suck.
Although I have reservations about giving my money to religious fanatics the food at Chick-fil-a is just too damn good to pass up.
Chick-fil-a by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. February 7, 2009
Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 30, 2008
LRH
Tom Cruise placed Baby Suri's crib in a shrine stacked with LRH memorabilia in the hopes that her Thetan would absorb his aura and as a means of protection against Xenu 's henchmen.
LRH by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. March 4, 2008
Dutch Oven
1. The act of passing flatulence while tightly bundled under covers or in a sleeping bag with another individual, thus creating a warm, pungent pocket of gas that is incredibly unpleasant to be party to.
2. An awful cooking show on RFD-TV ("Rural America's Most Important Network") mocked on a weekly basis by Joel McHale of The Soup.
2. An awful cooking show on RFD-TV ("Rural America's Most Important Network") mocked on a weekly basis by Joel McHale of The Soup.
1. My girlfriend kicked me out on the street after I gave ger a Dutch Oven last night. She still can't get the smell out of her hair.
2. Dutch Oven is the most unintentionally hilarious television program out there.
2. Dutch Oven is the most unintentionally hilarious television program out there.
Dutch Oven by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. February 24, 2008
Upstate New York
The vast area encompassing New York State north of Westchester county. A varied mosaic of farmland, woodland, picturesque rolling hills, and towns and cities ranging from the charming to the decrepit. Generally more provincial and less cosmpolitan than its densely urban New York City counterpart, its citizenry is more approachable and friendly albeit less refined and cultured than the pretentious yuppies of New York and Long Island. Some of its urban centers are buoyed economically and culturally by the influence of many universities and (in the case of the capital region) government administration centers; however most of its large cities are mired in varying states of urban decay and have been hemorrhaging population since the 1950s due to a steady loss of jobs and a subsequent increase in crime. Utica, Rochester, and Newburgh are particularly miserable places to set foot in. Its more rural areas, which feature breathtaking landscapes, are lovely and bucolic albeit mind-numbingly boring to actually live in.
In summation, upstate New York is too large and varied an area to define succinctly. As a native resident of New York City who went to college upstate I can both laud it for being physically beautiful and its natives for being candid, frank, and hospitable while noting that I would never want to live there permanently as life there can grow trite, repetitive, cold as hell, and insufferably boring after a while and the locals' lack of sophistication and city-esque hustle, while charming at first, can also eventually grow unflattering. Not that I'd want them to change. Their lack of tact and culture is offset by their good character and sincerity, something too many city residents and Long Islanders sorely do not have. Both Upstate and Downstate need each other, more or less. It's a yin-yang thing.
In summation, upstate New York is too large and varied an area to define succinctly. As a native resident of New York City who went to college upstate I can both laud it for being physically beautiful and its natives for being candid, frank, and hospitable while noting that I would never want to live there permanently as life there can grow trite, repetitive, cold as hell, and insufferably boring after a while and the locals' lack of sophistication and city-esque hustle, while charming at first, can also eventually grow unflattering. Not that I'd want them to change. Their lack of tact and culture is offset by their good character and sincerity, something too many city residents and Long Islanders sorely do not have. Both Upstate and Downstate need each other, more or less. It's a yin-yang thing.
New Yorker 1: I'm going upstate for the summer.
New Yorker 2: You'll love it in Upstate New York for the first few weeks. It's nice to get away from the yuppie assholes down here for a while. Eventually, though, you'll need to come back to civilization.
New Yorker 2: You'll love it in Upstate New York for the first few weeks. It's nice to get away from the yuppie assholes down here for a while. Eventually, though, you'll need to come back to civilization.
Upstate New York by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. February 18, 2008