Uffe Tor

Uffe Tor is the FIFA god, or currently the EA FC god. Never disrespect him. If you ever find yourself with a 82 rated cb and a 79 rated cm, I would highly recommend for you the next time when you have a big pack (55k pack or higher) to try get down on your knees, close your hands together and repeat this... "Please Uffe Tor, give me the power, give me the dynamism, diminish the weakness and give me a player with potency." After this your life will get fixed.

Me - "Yo bro"
Bro - *sigh* "what?"
me - "Let me guess,your team is bad, you have a good pack and you know that it will be a 83 rated Enzo Fernandez?"
Bro - "How did you know?"
Me - Pray to Uffe Tor"
*Bro prays to Uffe Tor*
Bro - "France... STRIKER! PSG!!!!! MBAPPE OMFG!!!! YEEES! THANKS UFFE TOR I LOVE YOU!!!!!"

by Harpovich November 21, 2023

Bernart

Bernart is a small dude who barley will get to 6 foot. He currently has a drastically negative record in fifa and always gotta blame the lag and bs. In class, he ask me on an avrage about 3 times per lesson when we end and I give him the same awnser every time. Another thing that i find pretty crazy is that he sits in a huge winter jacket inside even when its summer and really hot outside. Everyone in this city has somehow come across the name "Bernart". The only time he lights up during a day is either when he find out that our next lession is PE or when his idol Pessi scores. Otherwise, he isnt really a happy lad. The second he get some money, they disapear immediately because of the urge of fifa points. 5 times he has dropped the big 12000. However, he never gets anything, but that prick never learns, he already told me that he need to try again. But what he really want isnt the points, its the packs. When someone in his team play bad, he sell that player and buy packs for the coins he got. He also claims that he got a 20 cm willy and his dad has a 25. He swore on titchu. His biggest rival is a guy with better record and hotter body, Joel. Joel is the better fifa player and has always been. He has more experience, skills, motivation, packluck, better passing, shooting ect ect ect. They hate eachother so much. The 1v1 is comming soon. He told me thet he will clap that idiot litterly 20 seconds ago while i typed this.

Bernart - fifa points - fifa - joel - 6 foot - 20 cm!

by Harpovich October 11, 2022

7 game tournament

If you have heard someone say line "7 game tournament"... Dont take them seriously, they are probably a pendu fan. The biggest competition in the history of sports was called the World cup all the way from 1930-2018. But when Lionel Messi won it with a world class performance, they try to claim its just a 7 game tournament.

Pendu fan - RONALDO IS STILL THE GOAT! A 7 GAME TOURNAMENT WONT CHANGE IT!!!
Me - But the world cup is the biggest and most valueble team trophy you can win...
Pendu fan - NOOOO! THE UCL IS BIGGER!!!
Me - *Walks away

by Harpovich December 19, 2023