Hammer of Jesus's definitions

Devil's kiss

The Devil's kiss is the heinous action of the tip of one's penis making contact with the cold porcelain of the inside of a public toilet.

I went to take a shit in the strip club bathroom, where I was unpleasantly surprised by the icy cold sensation of the Devil's kiss. Now it burns when I pee. Thanks, Satan.

by Hammer of Jesus August 10, 2017

penis rinser

A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.

Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.

Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.

Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!

by Hammer of Jesus April 24, 2019

boner queso

A synonym for smegma. Sometimes used specifically to describe dick cheese belonging to a person of hispanic origin.

Armando: Duuuude have you seen how much boner queso Jose has? You could make a quesadilla with that shit.

Carlos: Nah mang, I'm not really into checking out other dudes dick cheese status.

by Hammer of Jesus April 5, 2017

scrotumnal equinox

The rare occurrence of a pair of testicles hanging perfectly equidistant to the ground, as opposed to their regular offset position.

Tony: Bro check out my balls! Total scrotumnal equinox!

Harold: Impressive symmetry! Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Tony: Damn straight, now open wide homie!

by Hammer of Jesus May 29, 2020

Order in the court

The act of using one’s penis as a makeshift gavel to strike a surface. One must loudly exclaim “ORDER IN THE COURT” as they strike said surface.

“Order in the court!” Bill shouted.

Bill brought so much order to Steve’s court that Steve was knocked unconscious.

by Hammer of Jesus January 29, 2019