A crappy vegetable that all the hipsters are now eating and giggling about. Also popular among the vegan crowd who enjoy depriving themselves of delicious foods. The leaf-like trash tastes like crap and runs through you like shit in a goose. You may have seen the Panera ads that are all the rave where people are eating the garbage as if they've been in the woods for three weeks without a morsel of food to eat which is probably true, it's the only way anyone would eat that trash is if they were starving.
After the stocking-cap festooned hipster ate his trendy kale salad he ran to the bathroom but crapped in his Old Navy khakis before he could get a seat on the pot.
A creature of female gender that inhabits various chatrooms causing drama and minor disruptions. This beast also claims that it can teleport (ie; traveling in mere seconds from locations that physically thousands of miles apart) and often claims to be married even though it sends out flabby tit pics to any male who has the misfortune of being in the same chat room as the guntius maximus. This animal can be identified by the greasy hair upon it's brainless skull and by the Elvis-like sideburns it's sports. The guntius maximus often has it's enormous belly mistaken for a large tire. The guntius maximus also is known for it's deceptive practices such as sending fake photos to unsuspecting males (usually without even being asked for) and stalking men who question the validity of their outlandish claims. For the male version of this beast please refer to the term 'duckmeat' in urbandictionary.com
The guntius maximus entered the chat room screaming various obscenities and sending pics of her greasy ass to every male in the chat. When asked as to why her hair was so damn greasy the guntius maximus bacame enraged evern further and slammed her fat fist into the monitor.