Gnostic1's definitions

canadian stoner

n. An "athlete" who participates in "curling" which, while not technically a sport, is a pasttime favoured by Canadians who have not discovered video games.

Heavy stones are flung randomly down an oblong blanket of ice and across a "tea" line. The game is a mix of marbles and cricket with the winner sometimes being decided in a draw.

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Hey Hoser! You are such a canadian stoner! Your inturned house-weight marble nudged my sweeper-stick and now I'm lying two.

I'm not lying. Why are you lying?

No. I said I was lying two. Not too.

by gnostic1 September 13, 2011

moisturizer

n. Storm large enough to flood one's basement, innundate the streets etc. Useful as a general term since it eliminates the need to specify hurricane, tidal wave, typhoon etc.

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Better take everything out of your basement and move your car to higher ground. There's going to be a moisturizer tomorrow.

Oh, I don't know. I think I'll just leave everything where it is and see what happens.

by gnostic1 November 9, 2012

Alder Flats

place. Gritty town left beside the road on the way to prosperity. Founded in 1892 by independent spirits who were not interested in the progressive ways of the people in Rimbey.

Home of the Fighting Badgers, the tri-province soccer champs three years running (1899,1900 and 1901), and twice voted "Hamlet of the Decade" by a local pamphlet company, Alder Flats is poised to leap into the twentieth century.

I had a dream last night. Alder Flats was a rainbow and Rocky Mountain House was a scorpion chasing its tail. Aerosmith music was playing. There were rocks in the road. A lot of rocks.

by gnostic1 July 1, 2012

occupation

v. The process of moving an idealistic group into a previously well-maintained public square or park; also the movement of any unwanted group onto any desirable property or personal space.
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When is this occupation of North America by the Europeans going to end? I have some plans for lower Manhattan island that I'd like to get to.
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Hey! Some random family is occupying our "slacker" table in the food court.

by gnostic1 November 24, 2011

ox-in

v. Breathe in; inhale. Derived from "oxygen into the lungs" by people who don't like a lot of excess verbiage: people who don't like to go on and on etc. Often used with "drughale" which is to inhale drugs.

When you have asthma you have to ox-in deeply if you are trying to drughale.

by gnostic1 August 25, 2011

penguin's life

n. any lifestyle consisting of existence in a bleak setting surrounded by identical people, houses, jobs etc.

Hey, are you going to apply for the associate dough stirrer position when Doug finally succombs to starchy pulmonary granulomatosis?

No way! The penguin's life is not for me. I'm gonna open a bong repair shop in Malibu and surf, surf, surf.

Don't forget to buy a black and white tuxedo wet suit.

by gnostic1 January 3, 2011

stretch market

n. fictional place where women obtain stretch marks; caution should be employed when using word around pregnant people.

Check out Rebecca. Methinks she's been spending a lot of time at that new stretch market.

What'd I hear you say? You come back here! You hear!

by gnostic1 July 24, 2011