Gastradamus's definitions

Gastradamus

Anyone who can predict future farts without the worry of a shart or the runs.

A. Damn bro, I am worried I may shart myself if i let one rip.

B. You have nothing to fear. There will only be wind.
A. *Farts with no regret. Thanks bro, you're a freaking Gastradamus.

B. Anytime my good friend.

by Gastradamus October 9, 2014

UPTS

U.P.T.S is the abbreviation for Uncontrollable Pelvis Thrusting Syndrome. UPTS is an unofficial medical condition which causes one to uncontrollably thrust ones pelvis. It is an inherited psychoneuroimmunology disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by pelvis thrusting. UPTS was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the thrusting of ones pelvis. However, UPTS is no longer considered a rare condition and is easily identified because most cases are extreme and the severity of thrusting increases for most children as they pass through adolescence. It is now believed that UPTS affects 9 out of every 10 males and only 1 out of every 10 females.

I noticed little Johnnie was humping the refrigerator again. Do you think we should get him tested for UPTS?

by Gastradamus October 9, 2014