Gary Vitalis's definitions
Very tight fitting black jeans worn by obese women who have just dropped five pounds in water weight in an effort to show the world that they are no longer fat. These jeans are black since this color hides rolls better than light colors and are usually debuted with hands in the air and a techno beat and pushed along with the temporary arrogance of knowing that turkey is better for you than pork.
Oprah reinvents herself about every five years and walks onto the show wearing her famous Oprah Jeans. Don't we all love getting parenting advice form the richest and most barren woman on the planet?
by Gary Vitalis October 19, 2009
Get the Oprah Jeans mug.This is a trippy little show that Satan watches when his old lady is off at Amway conventions. It teaches children that all can be resolved through dancing and whining a saying I'm sorry cures cancer. This show uses public funds to support out of work hip hop artists such as Biz Markie.
Hey Yo, Is that Biz Markie? Hell ya...Yo Gabba Gabba that mutha fucka needs to use Crest White Strips...
by Gary Vitalis June 20, 2009
Get the Yo Gabba Gabba mug.Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.
Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
Get the Bustin' a Sag for Jesus mug.Puerto Rico is the island so beautiful on which nobody in his right mind wants to live. This shithole is bragged about as being paradise only by those Puerto Ricans living in the mainland who know they have a way out. This is the perfect place to go if you are white and would like to part ways with your wallet. Many Puerto Ricans claim to speak Castillian Spanish and pick to pieces Anglo Spanish teachers who believe in the grammatical purtiy of Spanish. Only a small fraction of Puerto Ricans living in the U.S. proper can create a grammatical construction in Spanish. If you have actually met a Puerto Rican male who has read one novel (novella for our latino friends) you have met a true celebrity.
by Gary Vitalis June 29, 2009
Get the Puerto Rico mug.A black woman in a Volvo or Saab. This refers to the tendency of middle class African-American women in the Atlanta, Georgia area to buy mid-priced European sedans, particularly those from Sweden.
by Gary Vitalis April 2, 2007
Get the Swedish Chocolate mug.Sandals worn by liberals, women in Vermont, and for some unknown reason, evangelical youth pastors trying to appeal to young adherents of Christianity.
Pastor Mike has a goatee and wears Birkenstocks--he looks like a pothead for Jesus when in reality his only addictions are online porn and energy drinks.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
Get the Birkenstocks mug.This new utterance reflects the current downturn in the economy. Budget-minded rappers and section 8 (government housing) celebrities will no longer throw out cash at the club shouting "Dolla Bills, Yo." Instead they will clip coupons from the Sunday paper and distribute them with much flair hence the expression, "Dolla Off Yo." This expression should not be confused with the Yiddish Wiggers of New York who have always bought Filas at the factory seconds outlet.
Phatty in da' club finds it hard to stack cheese since losing his job at Dodge. He savors the nights at da' club..."Dolla Off Yo."
by Gary Vitalis May 24, 2009
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