Gary Vitalis's definitions

eBayUI

eBayUI refers to the tendency of certain eBay members to drink large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with anti-depressants such as Lexapro and then go on a bidding frenzy. Very quickly mundane and useless items become the must have item of the year. After a brief black out period the individual then wonders how the hell he is going to pay for all of it.

What the hell I am going to do with 35 vacuum cleaner belts, a penis pump, and a King James Bible with Jesus' words in red? I must have been bidding whie eBayUI.

by Gary Vitalis October 10, 2008

Che Guevara

This cat fought for the "liberation" of Cuba from tyrants while in fact he helped put in place an even bigger tyrant by the name of Fidel "no more toilet paper for our shitty island" Castro. This "freedom fighter" is 40 percent to blame for the slaughter of innoncent industrialists who sought to make the best of the island's natural resources and keep the savages at bay.

I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.

If Charlton Heston had sex with one of the monkeys on "Planet of the Apes" his offspring would have looked like Che Guevara.

by Gary Vitalis August 18, 2009

Blue Jean Baptist

A youthful evangelical, usually with a goatee, who espouses the "come as you are" mentality in churches. These guys are near fascists when it comes to their belief that a necktie will block God's power. In other words, if you wear a suit to church you will burn in Hell. These guys can be seen wearing tight jeans and untucked shirts to church and like to carry a guitar in their Chevy truck as to not appear unhip with the luscious little honeys that he wants to fondle when his wife is at the Baptist Ladies’ Bible Study/Lunches.

Mike beat an old man with a baseball bat today for shaving before coming to chuch. He is a militant Blue Jean Baptist.

by Gary Vitalis August 27, 2008

Birkenstocks

Sandals worn by liberals, women in Vermont, and for some unknown reason, evangelical youth pastors trying to appeal to young adherents of Christianity.

Pastor Mike has a goatee and wears Birkenstocks--he looks like a pothead for Jesus when in reality his only addictions are online porn and energy drinks.

by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007

Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.

Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.

by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007

Yo Gabba Gabba

This is a trippy little show that Satan watches when his old lady is off at Amway conventions. It teaches children that all can be resolved through dancing and whining a saying I'm sorry cures cancer. This show uses public funds to support out of work hip hop artists such as Biz Markie.

Hey Yo, Is that Biz Markie? Hell ya...Yo Gabba Gabba that mutha fucka needs to use Crest White Strips...

by Gary Vitalis June 20, 2009

Bama Jam

Bama Jam is the equivalent to White Trash Woodstock. This festival in southeast Alabama brings together washed up country artists, Taylor Swift, and how that hell this happened---Kid Rock. This filthy mud pit concert attraction appeals to trailer park dwellors and Wal-Mart shoppers. The female attendants have tattoos on their fat ass cankles and the males are required to have goatees.

Fuck Me, I hate Bama Jam, I have never seen so much white trash in my life since Woodstock.

by Gary Vitalis June 27, 2009