Gary Vitalis's definitions
Any late 1990's model Dodge Caravan, Ford Windstar, or Mercury Villager registering at least 180,000 miles and usually purchased at buy-here-pay-here car lots. These vehicles are driven by recently-arrived Mexicans, Guatemalans, and Hondurans and are easily identified by chromed plastic hubcaps, flame and soccer ball decals, and dashboards decorated like a Guadalajaran Hooker's living room. Driver beware! These vehicles have a way of eating insurance cards and inhaling the carpet fibers causes amnesia in drivers when asked their names by law enforcement officials. These vehicles also have the ability to become invisible on traffic court day.
Many fine examples of MexiVans can be spied on Sunday afternoons parked outside of Auto Zones throughout the United States.
by Gary Vitalis August 4, 2007
Get the MexiVan mug.Very tight fitting black jeans worn by obese women who have just dropped five pounds in water weight in an effort to show the world that they are no longer fat. These jeans are black since this color hides rolls better than light colors and are usually debuted with hands in the air and a techno beat and pushed along with the temporary arrogance of knowing that turkey is better for you than pork.
Oprah reinvents herself about every five years and walks onto the show wearing her famous Oprah Jeans. Don't we all love getting parenting advice form the richest and most barren woman on the planet?
by Gary Vitalis October 19, 2009
Get the Oprah Jeans mug.A trailer park Corvette is a late 1970's to early 1980's Pontiac Firebird or Chevrolet Camaro. These are the most undesirable years for these vehicles hence they make a very cheap addition even to a household with the most fincancial mismanagement, aka white trash welfare sponges. If these fine examples of American technology actually crank, they will typically run on 6 of 8 cylinders. Don't expect to find a catalytic convertor on these straight-piped beauties.
Billy Hutto just bought himself a 1982 'bird. It smokes like a crack whore at a Baptist convention and the title is questionable at best. He sure has a fine trailer park Corvette. It's a shame that his kids won't get to enjoy since DHR took them away. He seemed to think that Lucas motor oil treatment was more important than shoes for school.
by Gary Vitalis February 1, 2007
Get the trailer park Corvette mug.eBayUI refers to the tendency of certain eBay members to drink large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with anti-depressants such as Lexapro and then go on a bidding frenzy. Very quickly mundane and useless items become the must have item of the year. After a brief black out period the individual then wonders how the hell he is going to pay for all of it.
What the hell I am going to do with 35 vacuum cleaner belts, a penis pump, and a King James Bible with Jesus' words in red? I must have been bidding whie eBayUI.
by Gary Vitalis October 10, 2008
Get the eBayUI mug.Bama Jam is the equivalent to White Trash Woodstock. This festival in southeast Alabama brings together washed up country artists, Taylor Swift, and how that hell this happened---Kid Rock. This filthy mud pit concert attraction appeals to trailer park dwellors and Wal-Mart shoppers. The female attendants have tattoos on their fat ass cankles and the males are required to have goatees.
by Gary Vitalis June 27, 2009
Get the Bama Jam mug.Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.
Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
Get the Bustin' a Sag for Jesus mug.Sandals worn by liberals, women in Vermont, and for some unknown reason, evangelical youth pastors trying to appeal to young adherents of Christianity.
Pastor Mike has a goatee and wears Birkenstocks--he looks like a pothead for Jesus when in reality his only addictions are online porn and energy drinks.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
Get the Birkenstocks mug.