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Gary Vitalis's definitions

Notorius BIG

A fat ass bastard who got popped the night before he would have died from cardiac arrest.
Holy Shit, They didn't call him Notorius BIG for nothing. This mother fucker had bacon grease for blood.
by Gary Vitalis August 17, 2009
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Yo Gabba Gabba

This is a trippy little show that Satan watches when his old lady is off at Amway conventions. It teaches children that all can be resolved through dancing and whining a saying I'm sorry cures cancer. This show uses public funds to support out of work hip hop artists such as Biz Markie.
Hey Yo, Is that Biz Markie? Hell ya...Yo Gabba Gabba that mutha fucka needs to use Crest White Strips...
by Gary Vitalis June 20, 2009
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ADHD

ADHD is an impulse control disorder typcially aggravated by inconsistent parenting. Most children with severe cases of ADHD come from households where parents set little if any limits especially in regard to technology such as the Internet and video games.
Parents of children with ADHD always count to three before they unplug the computer.
by Gary Vitalis February 25, 2007
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Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.
Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
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Swedish Chocolate

A black woman in a Volvo or Saab. This refers to the tendency of middle class African-American women in the Atlanta, Georgia area to buy mid-priced European sedans, particularly those from Sweden.
Lashontay is a Black Viking Princess, Swedish Chocolate in a chromed out Volvo S 60.
by Gary Vitalis April 2, 2007
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Alabama 401K

A retirement plan, of sorts, for white trash people living in the South. Generally speaking a low-end wage earner will claim a back injury and go to an unscrupulous doctor who will assist in the claim of a debilitating health condition. Ultimately the participant in the Alabama 401K will receive a monthly check, tax free, so technically we could refer to this plan as a Redneck Roth IRA.

The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.

Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.

This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
Mama, did my check come in today? I need to by a three neck Pyrex boiler for the shed.

Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
by Gary Vitalis December 12, 2008
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Dolla Off Yo

This new utterance reflects the current downturn in the economy. Budget-minded rappers and section 8 (government housing) celebrities will no longer throw out cash at the club shouting "Dolla Bills, Yo." Instead they will clip coupons from the Sunday paper and distribute them with much flair hence the expression, "Dolla Off Yo." This expression should not be confused with the Yiddish Wiggers of New York who have always bought Filas at the factory seconds outlet.
Phatty in da' club finds it hard to stack cheese since losing his job at Dodge. He savors the nights at da' club..."Dolla Off Yo."
by Gary Vitalis May 24, 2009
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