Gary Vitalis's definitions

Malt Liquor Muslim

An individual, usually a young black male, who converts to Islam while in prison and then returns to his pre-Muslim ways when on the outside.

James can be seen in his dad's front yard sippin' on a foty (fourty ounce malt liquor bottle), eatin' fried pork skins, smokin' Newports, and beatin' on his old lady--a classic Malt Liquor Muslim.

by Gary Vitalis February 6, 2007

Oprah Jeans

Very tight fitting black jeans worn by obese women who have just dropped five pounds in water weight in an effort to show the world that they are no longer fat. These jeans are black since this color hides rolls better than light colors and are usually debuted with hands in the air and a techno beat and pushed along with the temporary arrogance of knowing that turkey is better for you than pork.

Oprah reinvents herself about every five years and walks onto the show wearing her famous Oprah Jeans. Don't we all love getting parenting advice form the richest and most barren woman on the planet?

by Gary Vitalis October 19, 2009

Yo Gabba Gabba

This is a trippy little show that Satan watches when his old lady is off at Amway conventions. It teaches children that all can be resolved through dancing and whining a saying I'm sorry cures cancer. This show uses public funds to support out of work hip hop artists such as Biz Markie.

Hey Yo, Is that Biz Markie? Hell ya...Yo Gabba Gabba that mutha fucka needs to use Crest White Strips...

by Gary Vitalis June 20, 2009

Bama Jam

Bama Jam is the equivalent to White Trash Woodstock. This festival in southeast Alabama brings together washed up country artists, Taylor Swift, and how that hell this happened---Kid Rock. This filthy mud pit concert attraction appeals to trailer park dwellors and Wal-Mart shoppers. The female attendants have tattoos on their fat ass cankles and the males are required to have goatees.

Fuck Me, I hate Bama Jam, I have never seen so much white trash in my life since Woodstock.

by Gary Vitalis June 27, 2009

Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.

Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.

by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007

Alabama 401K

A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.

Mama, I'll be gettin' my own double wide 'cause my check's in the mail!--Alabama 401K in action!

by Gary Vitalis February 12, 2007

Notorius BIG

A fat ass bastard who got popped the night before he would have died from cardiac arrest.

Holy Shit, They didn't call him Notorius BIG for nothing. This mother fucker had bacon grease for blood.

by Gary Vitalis August 17, 2009