Hip Hop Valet Parking describes our African-American friends' tendency to station large American SUVs with oversized chrome rims in the fire lane in front of Wal-Mart or southside malls. A more subtle version occurs when the same SUV is spied with grandma's handicap placard mounted proudly next to a half dozen or so pine tree air fresheners to mask the scent of marijuana. Minor
Section 8 (government housing) celebrities who are generally unemployed or underemployed who claim to be producers are the most likely to utilize Hip Hop Valet Parking.
Section 8 (government housing) celebrities who are generally unemployed or underemployed who claim to be producers are the most likely to utilize Hip Hop Valet Parking.
T-Dog's rim size is three times his ACT score...rollin hard on 27's sippin' a foty, smokin' a blunt...Hip Hop Valet Parking yo'.
by Gary Vitalis April 09, 2009
Get the Hip Hop Valet Parkingmug. A retirement plan, of sorts, for white trash people living in the South. Generally speaking a low-end wage earner will claim a back injury and go to an unscrupulous doctor who will assist in the claim of a debilitating health condition. Ultimately the participant in the Alabama 401K will receive a monthly check, tax free, so technically we could refer to this plan as a Redneck Roth IRA.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
Mama, did my check come in today? I need to by a three neck Pyrex boiler for the shed.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
by Gary Vitalis December 12, 2008
Get the Alabama 401Kmug. A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.
by Gary Vitalis February 12, 2007
Get the Alabama 401Kmug. A delicious snack consisting of green (raw), unshelled peanuts boiled in salt water. This delicacy is typically purchased in gas station parking lots and roadside vegetable stands and consumed by southerners of all socio-economic backgrounds. Almost always served in Styrofoam cups and wrapped in the skimpiest napkin ever made, this salty snack is intended to be shared with family and friends although it is not uncommon for asocial types to devour the whole cup as to not share any with his wife/mistress.
Rich Birmingham Business Man: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.
Broke-Ass Methamphetamine-Addicted Construction Worker: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.
Broke-Ass Methamphetamine-Addicted Construction Worker: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.
by Gary Vitalis February 19, 2007
Get the Boiled Peanutsmug. A youthful evangelical, usually with a goatee, who espouses the "come as you are" mentality in churches. These guys are near fascists when it comes to their belief that a necktie will block God's power. In other words, if you wear a suit to church you will burn in Hell. These guys can be seen wearing tight jeans and untucked shirts to church and like to carry a guitar in their Chevy truck as to not appear unhip with the luscious little honeys that he wants to fondle when his wife is at the Baptist Ladies’ Bible Study/Lunches.
Mike beat an old man with a baseball bat today for shaving before coming to chuch. He is a militant Blue Jean Baptist.
by Gary Vitalis August 27, 2008
Get the Blue Jean Baptistmug. This cat fought for the "liberation" of Cuba from tyrants while in fact he helped put in place an even bigger tyrant by the name of Fidel "no more toilet paper for our shitty island" Castro. This "freedom fighter" is 40 percent to blame for the slaughter of innoncent industrialists who sought to make the best of the island's natural resources and keep the savages at bay.
I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.
I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.
If Charlton Heston had sex with one of the monkeys on "Planet of the Apes" his offspring would have looked like Che Guevara.
by Gary Vitalis August 18, 2009
Get the Che Guevaramug. Very tight fitting black jeans worn by obese women who have just dropped five pounds in water weight in an effort to show the world that they are no longer fat. These jeans are black since this color hides rolls better than light colors and are usually debuted with hands in the air and a techno beat and pushed along with the temporary arrogance of knowing that turkey is better for you than pork.
Oprah reinvents herself about every five years and walks onto the show wearing her famous Oprah Jeans. Don't we all love getting parenting advice form the richest and most barren woman on the planet?
by Gary Vitalis October 19, 2009
Get the Oprah Jeansmug.