Lad

A word made popular around Manchester by Richard Keane.

1. The traditional meaning of this term refers to a male human being, usually somebody who is quite young or younger than the person saying it such as a child.

2. Same as above but used in a derogatory way to put somebody in their place for talking to their superiors in a bad way.

3. Used as a sign of affection between two males addressing each other.
1. "Dorothy's lad's growing up fast."

2. "Don't give me cheek, lad."

3. "Alright lad?"
by GF August 23, 2004
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schoolboy error

The most basic of errors. An error so simple, and avoidable, that anyone with an ounce of credibility or experience in that field should not be commiting it. A mistake that should only be made by school boys still in training for that particular task. Especially used when referring to playing games of pool in pubs, or occasionally during snooker. Schoolboy error can be heard ringing out by jeering onlookers if for instance a participant missed a sitter = he should have potted it as it as so simple, that thereforehe is reduced to the level of a lowly school boy playing his dad for the first time.
And here comes Keane for the winner....Oooooooh and he's missed, and left the black right over the pocket for Swann to tap in...
Schoolboy error!
by GF November 23, 2007
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Touch

The universailly known hand gesture for scallies. It involves the outstretching of the arm in the form of a fist and tapping somebody else on their fist as they do this also. If received back it is used as a gesture of respect or as a greeting or a way of saying goodbye. Sometimes if the other person is a dick then you can smash their fist as hard as you can with yours, ensuring they won't try and give you the touch again in the near future.
"Safe man....Touch?"
*outsretches fist*
"Ahhh fuck! That fuckin hurts!"
by GF October 09, 2006
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What was once the ultimate put down. The strongest diss you could say to somebody who was annoying you by being physical with something you own.

Starting off with expensive things that other poor kids couldn't afford, this was a snobbish insult used by richer kids who had the flashest new gear and one of the poorer kids wanted to touch it as they could never afford somethign so extravagent. This was in fear of the poorer kids leaving germs or nits on the item leaving the richer kid fucked later on. This would put them in their place and the poor kids would know their place in society.

However, things started to get a bit out of hand circa 1997. The diss spread wildly across Britain's schools and soonn became used in day to day conversations heard in the playground; the cheaper the tackier the item the better the insult. It was a witty way of saaying "you're so poor that..." but without having to use the brainpower to think of an item and and it would leave people hurt inside.

Soon enough people found a way of responding to this comment which was to get your wallet out and show you have enough money to indeed afford the item, thus making the person who used it look silly and make their point completely void. Soon after this was discovered people stopped using it, and thus sending a classic diss to the history books along with "your mum gives head for bread" and other such insults.
Person 1 "Hey, Let me have a look at that pen."
Person 2 "Oi, don't touch what you can't afford!"
Person 1 "Damn...you didn't have to go there."
by GF February 18, 2007
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Blarted

One of those rare unique phrases which has no physical meaning however when uttered everyone in the vacinity knows what you mean.

Used in conjuction with something going wrong for somebody, usually as a result of your mischievous doing. Can be used with similar words like shell.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Blarted you beanhead!" yelled Shahzhad as Ahmed tripped over a stool on the floor. Unbeknown to Ahmed, Shahzad had planted this stool in a compromising juxtaposition with the door, a few minutes previously as he hear Ahmed marching forth from the great beyond. Then for no reason Shahzad said "Lung fainted over a lung" and chortled to himself and said blarted again a few more times.
by GF July 12, 2006
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Crap Weasle

A person who digs through other peoples crap trying to find something of use, but usually ends up smelling like a pile of dung
"Wow, your child is quite the crap weasle!"

"I caught a crap weasle hanging out in my shitter"

"You smell like a crap weasle
by GF January 28, 2003
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Old Footage Woman

Hailing from Hulme, Manchester, the Old Footage Lady is a 75 year old woman who happens to be the world's oldest clubber. Trotting round without a care in the world other than to raise money for the NSPCC from pissed students at Footage and other like bars, she has been out every night for the past 30 years and raised over 60 million pounds for charity. She appears to have a heart of gold, but recently, the pressure has been getting to her. Local thug Dean Blair has started to take advantage of her. Using her reputation for being a charity worker, he sends her out to do the same job but instead of the money going to charity, it helps Dean Blair launder money through his Salt'n'Battery Chip Shop. Recently she has been spotted getting out of Deans car right outside Footage. She no longer speaks to the clubbers as she is too frightened, instead extending her arm holding the collection box.

However, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. A young unnamed lass was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the Old Footage Woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. The Crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. She did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. Dean Blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. Instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. The woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
"Hide ya change lad, the Old Footage Womans about!"
by GF March 26, 2007
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