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don't touch what you can't afford

What was once the ultimate put down. The strongest diss you could say to somebody who was annoying you by being physical with something you own.

Starting off with expensive things that other poor kids couldn't afford, this was a snobbish insult used by richer kids who had the flashest new gear and one of the poorer kids wanted to touch it as they could never afford somethign so extravagent. This was in fear of the poorer kids leaving germs or nits on the item leaving the richer kid fucked later on. This would put them in their place and the poor kids would know their place in society.

However, things started to get a bit out of hand circa 1997. The diss spread wildly across Britain's schools and soonn became used in day to day conversations heard in the playground; the cheaper the tackier the item the better the insult. It was a witty way of saaying "you're so poor that..." but without having to use the brainpower to think of an item and and it would leave people hurt inside.

Soon enough people found a way of responding to this comment which was to get your wallet out and show you have enough money to indeed afford the item, thus making the person who used it look silly and make their point completely void. Soon after this was discovered people stopped using it, and thus sending a classic diss to the history books along with "your mum gives head for bread" and other such insults.
Person 1 "Hey, Let me have a look at that pen."
Person 2 "Oi, don't touch what you can't afford!"
Person 1 "Damn...you didn't have to go there."
by GF February 18, 2007
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Old Footage Woman

Hailing from Hulme, Manchester, the Old Footage Lady is a 75 year old woman who happens to be the world's oldest clubber. Trotting round without a care in the world other than to raise money for the NSPCC from pissed students at Footage and other like bars, she has been out every night for the past 30 years and raised over 60 million pounds for charity. She appears to have a heart of gold, but recently, the pressure has been getting to her. Local thug Dean Blair has started to take advantage of her. Using her reputation for being a charity worker, he sends her out to do the same job but instead of the money going to charity, it helps Dean Blair launder money through his Salt'n'Battery Chip Shop. Recently she has been spotted getting out of Deans car right outside Footage. She no longer speaks to the clubbers as she is too frightened, instead extending her arm holding the collection box.

However, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. A young unnamed lass was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the Old Footage Woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. The Crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. She did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. Dean Blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. Instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. The woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
"Hide ya change lad, the Old Footage Womans about!"
by GF March 26, 2007
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143

The 143 is a brand of bus found in Manchester of the Oxford/Wilmslow Road variety. It is a feared bus as it is cleverly discuised as a 142 bus due to its insistence of being a Magic Bus and thus can easily fool pissed students on their way home from a night in the town at 3 o'clock of the AM variety.

On its way into Manchester the 143 can be caught by anyone and therefore people who wouldn't get the 143 back would get it there. On its way back from Manchester it runs the same route as the 142 bus but only as far as the Palatine Road variety. Then it goes down Palatine at which point people realise they are are on a 143 and can lead many people from the Didsbury division of the Wilmslow Road variety have to catch another bus or walk home.

Nobody knows where the 143 travels to out of Manchester as nobody has ever got the bus for that purpose thus causing a pandemonium outside Job Centre Plus which would look like good evidence against unemployment rates. It is rumoured to be travelling back to the treacherous swamp from wence it was born.
Ahmed: "Is that a 142, lad?"
Swann: "No, it's a 143"
Ahmed: "Damn"

"Ahhh fuck we got on a 143!"

"Shit, it's 5am and there's no buses we might have to actually catch a 143 instead of waiting for the 142"
by GF November 18, 2006
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oxford road

Oxford Road is a road in Manchester that joins directly to Wilmslow Road providing transport throughout the city and nobody knows exactly where Wilmslow Road ends and Oxford Road begins.

Fed up with rural life, Roy Wilmslow decided he would begin building a road to travel through to the lively city centre. At the same time Andrew Oxford decided he would also build a road from Manchester to Didsbury. Without knowledge of the others plans, they wer shocked as half way through making their roads the two roads joined and the pair could not reach a decision other than to name both sides of the road and have it as 1 road.

Oxford Road is known for its more industrialised part of the road with its universities and clubs and BBC offices.

The remaining Wilmslow family still reside in Didsbury and pride themselves of their heritage. Every now and then power mad family members try to campaign to get the entire road named as Wilmslow Road which have been unsuccesful to date.
by GF November 18, 2006
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swear down

A statement made to signify that what you speak is 100% the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Usually used when someone doesn't believe what you say, as it is bullshit, but this is used to try and make that person believe its true as its probably not.

What it actually means may derive from the old saying of "I swear on my mum's life!" which means absolutely nothing but some people think if that statement is said that they can't be lying.
"I swear down your honour, i didn't do it"

Nick: Did you know that Ahmed got arrested last night?
Keane: No he didn't.
Nick: Yeah man, swear down.
by GF November 30, 2006
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pilly spliff

A pilly spliff is an invention that whilst not as good as the chingy spliff is still cool to do whilst at a party. This involves the use of crumbling an ecstasy tablet, AKA, an E into a joint of weed before rolling the joint. My preferred dosage of e for this is half a pill. Although I enjoy doing this, as I enjoy the taste of it, it has not been scientifically proven that it really has any efect when consumed in this method. 1 reason for this may be everytime I have done this I have already been under the influence of 1 or more pills, and the weed chills you the fuck out already whilst on that stuff so can't really tell. In fact i'd go as far as saying it is showing off!
Person 1 "Check this out i'm makin a pilly spliff!"
Person 2 "Bloody show off! Give me some."
by GF August 12, 2007
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anticipation

The anticipation phase starts the moment after taking a pill and lasts for 20 minutes to an hour, whilst you're waiting for it to kick in. This can be an exciting phase as you know something magical is coming at any moment but you don't know exactly when. There may be glimpses of it but this may also be the mind playing tricks before it really starts. For the more seasoned pill taker this moment may actually be 1 of frustration as they want to be there immediately.
Guy 1 "You there yet?"
Guy 2 "Nah still in the anticipation stage."
by GF August 24, 2007
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