Furry Trout's definitions

Dump and Dive

When your boss decides to manage up by taking on more responsibility than the department has a reasonable expectation of completing, and then dumps the work on his/her subordinates which is followed by an expeditious dive into his/her office to avoid the pending fallout.

Can you believe Jeff’s latest dump and dive? There’s no way we’re going to be able to get all that done without installing a shower and some Murphy beds in the office.

by Furry Trout April 5, 2010

BOTALS

Battle Of The Afternoon Lady ‘Staches

When you are in a situation where there are two or more women in close proximity to you, and at least two of them are sporting emerging moustaches

Dude, you should have been in my 3pm meeting. It was completely BOTALS!!! Bridgette had Rita by a full Billie Dee Williams. Two more hours, and she’d have been mistaken for Rollie Fingers!!!!

by Furry Trout May 6, 2010

Binometer

Measures the maximum amount of time an individual can spend grooming and preening in a public restroom before arousing suspicion

Man, Dinino blew the top off the binometer! He must have spent 20 minutes feathering his hair in the restroom today.

by Furry Trout December 15, 2009

Wooden Boat

A woman who looks attractive from a distance, but up close needs a lot of work done in order to actually be attractive

Man, she was like a wooden boat...looked good from a distance, but up close you can tell she was in need of more than just paint and varnish

by Furry Trout December 23, 2008

Faulknerize

The process of going from a calm state of being to an out of control lunatic via a carefully tread 6-step process that moves from calm to agitated into masked anger, then irritability on to retaliatory, followed by irrational and concluding with explosive

Did you see Claire Faulknerize Sam earlier today? They could hear her three floors down. Man Claire moved through the six steps like a border collie in a weave pole contest.

by Furry Trout March 18, 2010

Jefflon

Someone who has a purported level of subject matter expertise, yet consistently shies away from any circumstance when that expertise may be called into question for fear that the knowledge castle of sand will be revealed.

Boy Wonder just had another Jefflon moment. He was asked to speak about the recent OCIE release and just weaseled his way off the agenda again.

by Furry Trout September 27, 2013

Jargonista

A person who is able to use a variety of technical terms to ultimately say nothing meaningful, but somehow still manages to satisfactorily answer questions from senior management, all while sipping a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha with light whip, upside-down, 1 pump of peppermint, 1 and 3/8 pumps vanilla, heavy whip-cream, 3 ice cubes, 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg sprinkled on top, with green sprinkles, light cinnamon dusted on, stirred, with no lid, double cupped, and a straw

Gary is the ultimate jargonista. He was able to deflect each of Claire's questions with a bunch of mis-used and non-sensical technical terms without spilling his latest barista creation.

by Furry Trout August 14, 2011