Furry Trout's definitions

Wooden Boat

A woman who looks attractive from a distance, but up close needs a lot of work done in order to actually be attractive

Man, she was like a wooden boat...looked good from a distance, but up close you can tell she was in need of more than just paint and varnish

by Furry Trout December 23, 2008

Faulknerize

The process of going from a calm state of being to an out of control lunatic via a carefully tread 6-step process that moves from calm to agitated into masked anger, then irritability on to retaliatory, followed by irrational and concluding with explosive

Did you see Claire Faulknerize Sam earlier today? They could hear her three floors down. Man Claire moved through the six steps like a border collie in a weave pole contest.

by Furry Trout March 18, 2010

Jargonista

A person who is able to use a variety of technical terms to ultimately say nothing meaningful, but somehow still manages to satisfactorily answer questions from senior management, all while sipping a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha with light whip, upside-down, 1 pump of peppermint, 1 and 3/8 pumps vanilla, heavy whip-cream, 3 ice cubes, 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg sprinkled on top, with green sprinkles, light cinnamon dusted on, stirred, with no lid, double cupped, and a straw

Gary is the ultimate jargonista. He was able to deflect each of Claire's questions with a bunch of mis-used and non-sensical technical terms without spilling his latest barista creation.

by Furry Trout August 14, 2011

Jefflon

Someone who has a purported level of subject matter expertise, yet consistently shies away from any circumstance when that expertise may be called into question for fear that the knowledge castle of sand will be revealed.

Boy Wonder just had another Jefflon moment. He was asked to speak about the recent OCIE release and just weaseled his way off the agenda again.

by Furry Trout September 27, 2013

Batorator

1) A person who always calls you by name in a public bathroom
2) A person who insists on talking to you in a public bathroom, either at the urinal or through the stall door
3) A person who follows you into a public restroom to continue a conversation
4) A person who answers their cell phone will using the urinal or sitting in the stall

I can't believe Boy Wonder followed me into the restroom to talk about his life-long dreams of a beach house, ferrari, cage diving with great whites, visiting the oval office, meeting a president and swimming with a killer whale at Sea World; what a batorator.

by furry trout March 24, 2010

Amalgamadage

Successfully botching or combining two cliché’s into one new phrase that makes no sense, but still allows the listener to understand the intended platitude.

Jeffrey coined another classic amalgamadage today. We were talking about trying to minimize the aggravation our customer was experiencing, and he blurts out, “Spite my nose of the very hand that feeds us.” It was an incredible blend of “Cut off your nose despite your face” and “Bite the hand that feeds you.” I was rendered speechless, yet still managed to take copious notes.

by Furry Trout July 12, 2011

BOTALS

Battle Of The Afternoon Lady ‘Staches

When you are in a situation where there are two or more women in close proximity to you, and at least two of them are sporting emerging moustaches

Dude, you should have been in my 3pm meeting. It was completely BOTALS!!! Bridgette had Rita by a full Billie Dee Williams. Two more hours, and she’d have been mistaken for Rollie Fingers!!!!

by Furry Trout May 6, 2010