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Flappy Dickwad's definitions

Weather wuss

A lukewarm dickhead who pathetically and totally illogically cancels his holiday due to rain at home. The prime example of this ridiculous class of individual is Fishy Macswell, the world's ugliest wanker, who put off his departure by an entire day because he was terrified of getting wet walking 20 feet from his house to his van.
I could almost understand cancelling a holiday if it was raining in the place of destination. But to cancel because of rain at home takes a world-class weather wuss.

And a dickhead.

Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
by flappy dickwad August 16, 2009
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Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
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Maltby lorry

A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?

He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
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Pork Scotch trousers

Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?

Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.

<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009
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Spack Dancer

A retard who lives with Nogtard and dances to gay pop songs while Monk and Mick deliver Sargent's apple pies to Nogtard.
Oh no, we can't deliver Nogtard's pies.

Why not?

There's a spack dancer having a fit in the living room.
by flappy dickwad July 25, 2009
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Pork Scotch Shades

Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
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Pork Scotch Moustache

A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
Who's the gimp with the Pork Scotch Moustache?

That's Pork Scotch, the fat, ugly security guard.
by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009
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