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Flappy Dickwad's definitions

Pork Scotch dance

A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
Is that fat guy having a fit?

No, he's just doing a Pork Scotch dance. Ridiculous ain't it?
by Flappy Dickwad May 6, 2009
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Pensioner Pants

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
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Pork Scotch music

The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?

Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
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Pork Scotch sandals

Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?

Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
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Pork Scotch trousers

Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?

Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.

<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009
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Spack Dancer

A retard who lives with Nogtard and dances to gay pop songs while Monk and Mick deliver Sargent's apple pies to Nogtard.
Oh no, we can't deliver Nogtard's pies.

Why not?

There's a spack dancer having a fit in the living room.
by flappy dickwad July 25, 2009
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Badman Place

A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?

Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
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