Flappy Dickwad's definitions
A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Moustache mug.A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
by Flappy Dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch dance mug.A lukewarm dickhead who pathetically and totally illogically cancels his holiday due to rain at home. The prime example of this ridiculous class of individual is Fishy Macswell, the world's ugliest wanker, who put off his departure by an entire day because he was terrified of getting wet walking 20 feet from his house to his van.
I could almost understand cancelling a holiday if it was raining in the place of destination. But to cancel because of rain at home takes a world-class weather wuss.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
by flappy dickwad August 16, 2009
Get the Weather wuss mug.A retard who lives with Nogtard and dances to gay pop songs while Monk and Mick deliver Sargent's apple pies to Nogtard.
Oh no, we can't deliver Nogtard's pies.
Why not?
There's a spack dancer having a fit in the living room.
Why not?
There's a spack dancer having a fit in the living room.
by flappy dickwad July 25, 2009
Get the Spack Dancer mug.What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
Get the Scotching mug.A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
Get the Badman Place mug.Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch trousers mug.