Fearman's definitions

West Brit

Derogatory term used in Ireland to describe anyone who believes British (i.e. English) culture, goods or whatever to be invariably superior to their Irish counterparts. Not necessarily living in Dublin, although the capital boasts at least its fair share of them.

Nicola is a right West Brit. She has been living in County Cork for the last nine years and she still gets her milk and bread direct from Surrey.

by Fearman October 31, 2007

rosaproboscideaphobia

Morbid or irrational fear of pink elephants. A motivating factor in many Prohibitionist or Temperance movements.

She's off the drink after developing a severe case of rosaproboscideaphobia.

by Fearman March 6, 2008

family rod hypothesis

The belief that children who are abused (emotionally, physically or sexually) inevitably go on to abuse any children they have themselves. Thought up by an abusive and deeply narcissistic parent who wanted to dismiss any misgivings on their own or their offspring's part as the idealism of green and inexperienced minds, and who held to the belief that if everyone does something it must be OK. Truly adult minds are not impressed by such phony reasoning. If the family rod hypothesis were true, the human race would rapidly be descending into violent dysfunction, with new traditions of bully-boys being established as the old ones persisted. A rather dangerous idea in the age of the multi-megatonne thermonuclear warhead, don't you think?

Like all redneck bully-boy cowards, John taught his kids the family rod hypothesis.

by Fearman May 28, 2008

verb the whole object

A snowclone often used in New Age, pseudoscientific or borderline fields to cast a warm glow over the enterprise in question. Meant to imply, usually fallaciously, that the real scientists or professionals are missing out on something that their clients urgently need, or at least want very very badly but for some arcane reason are unable or afraid to articulate.

Examples of phrases using the "verb the whole object" construction would be:

"Alternative" practitioners treat the whole patient. (Unlike those bloody doctors, of course.)

Home birth widwifes read the whole woman.

Organic caterers use the whole plant. (I wonder if they make rhubarb crumble).

by Fearman February 23, 2008

Smurfspeak

Intellectually lazy speech in which a single all-purpose noun or verb is frequently substituted for something more specific, the term for which the speaker can't be bothered to remember. From the dialogue between the title characters in the cartoon series "The Smurfs", in which the word "smurf" is frequently substituted for other words; the word substituted does not necessarily have to be "smurf".

Examples of Smurfspeak:

And then, Papa Smurf, I took her smurfy smurf by the smurf and smurfed her up the smurf.

The thing is in the other thing over by the thing, you know the thing I mean?

by Fearman April 18, 2008

long dark teatime of the soul

Spiritual and physical void found at the centre of the Sunday Weekly Galaxy in "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" by Douglas Adams. Used as the title of Adams's second Dirk Gently novel. At its worst in boarding school. Trust me.

Sorry, but between that crappy lunch and the next crappy dinner, I'm currently experiencing a long dark teatime of the soul.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

Vegan

1. Incisor-bearing organism in reeeeally serious denial. Won't even eat eggs or dairy produce because of the necessary infringement on the hard-won human rights of hens and cattle.

2. Someone who has just come 160,000,000,000,000 miles and is kinda hungry ... so watch out.

Here come the Vegans with their laser blasters and photon torpedoes.

by Fearman August 4, 2007