The polar opposite of neckbeard (AKA hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or TV remote.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: I'm pushing the button on my computer and it won't restart! It just shuts off the screen!
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
by Eric Melech January 28, 2010
Get the baldneckmug. A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Captain's Hand and Sandwich.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Heart of Lotharmug. A person, who usually is an angsty, depressed goth/punk, who think s/he's cool because s/he wear shirts that say "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same" and other assorted wear from Hot Topic or Torrid even though that makes them a hypocrite as those shops are just as brand-name as Abercrombie, GAP, or Old Navy. The people behind Hot Topic and Torrid are exactly like the people behind GAP and Old Navy: they laugh all the way to the bank as you unthinking, impressionable teens buy their over-priced clothing, and you become a walking billboard for Corporate America when you don their shoddy clothes, just like the "prep" clique you hate so much.
I think I'm sooo unique because I'm wearing a shirt from a company that tells me who I am. I am a sell-out.
by Eric Melech September 14, 2004
Get the anti-prepmug. I voted for him instead of being another sheep voting for bush or kerry. Most people I know yelled at me, to which I said "fuck you, I am my own person, and if I don't think that either bush or kerry were worth voting for, then fuck 'em".
by Eric Melech April 19, 2005
Get the Michael Badnarikmug. The worst kind of person. You cannot fully construct a meaning that fully encompasses what this vicious insult means. If you're an asshole, you are disgusting, loathesome, vile, distasteful, wrathful, belligerent, agoraphobic, and more. Assholes are human fecal matter. They are the lowest of the low. They transcend all forms of immorality. It is the very worst of insults; to be called an asshole is to have your very soul ripped apart and shat on. I say that the word "asshole" is the worst cussword of the english language, worst than fuck, shit, and cunt combined.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Assholemug. When you get to home base twice in one evening, then have a threesome with said two previous people.
Danny seduced two separate chicks, man! Then got to play with them together! Holy crap, he's the first in our college to get to 10th base! We must worship him.
by Eric Melech July 20, 2008
Get the 10th basemug. A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Heart of Lothar and Sandwich.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Captain's Handmug.