Eric Melech's definitions
The polar opposite of neckbeard (AKA hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or TV remote.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: I'm pushing the button on my computer and it won't restart! It just shuts off the screen!
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
by Eric Melech January 28, 2010
Get the baldneck mug.Someone who constantly ignores (iggy's) people in chatrooms and IRC, usually followed by informing the person of their being iggy'd. Yahoo chatters with programs like YElite and YTunnel are the worst offenders as those programs automatically spit out some digital garbage like "user, you just got ass canned in t3h hiz0uze biznatch yo yo yo! 1337 yidiots got theysawves CANNED yo yo yo!"
See the fucking goddamned definition!! Stupid urbandictionary and it's "Example must have at least 20 letters and 3 words"...
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the igger mug.In a nutshell: A form of government where your power or position is based on your ability or achievements. Like communism, this sounds really good on paper (or a computer screen).
Allow us to introduce you to the concept of a "meritocracy" - the closest thing
to a form of self-government we have. In The United Meritocratic nation-states
of the Internet, those who can do, rule. Those who wish to rule, learn.
Everyone else watches from the stands.
-- Welcome to the Internet - redpaw 1.16.00
to a form of self-government we have. In The United Meritocratic nation-states
of the Internet, those who can do, rule. Those who wish to rule, learn.
Everyone else watches from the stands.
-- Welcome to the Internet - redpaw 1.16.00
by Eric Melech March 1, 2005
Get the meritocracy mug.A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Heart of Lothar and Sandwich.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Captain's Hand mug.When you get to home base twice in one evening, then have a threesome with said two previous people.
Danny seduced two separate chicks, man! Then got to play with them together! Holy crap, he's the first in our college to get to 10th base! We must worship him.
by Eric Melech July 20, 2008
Get the 10th base mug.A person (I use that word loosely) who overuses emoticons in chatrooms and emails. These people are lowly germs who must be eliminated.
kaybebe1617: hey dudds =D =D =D :) :) :)
jesse572789: juu hunny baby dawl :-* \:D/ >:) :P :) :) X-D X-D
...you get the idea.
jesse572789: juu hunny baby dawl :-* \:D/ >:) :P :) :) X-D X-D
...you get the idea.
by Eric Melech April 18, 2005
Get the emoticunt mug.The worst kind of person. You cannot fully construct a meaning that fully encompasses what this vicious insult means. If you're an asshole, you are disgusting, loathesome, vile, distasteful, wrathful, belligerent, agoraphobic, and more. Assholes are human fecal matter. They are the lowest of the low. They transcend all forms of immorality. It is the very worst of insults; to be called an asshole is to have your very soul ripped apart and shat on. I say that the word "asshole" is the worst cussword of the english language, worst than fuck, shit, and cunt combined.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Asshole mug.