The act of performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, simultaneously, while flapping your arms like a prehistoric bird taking off from a rocky cliff.
Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
by El Conquistador May 05, 2021
You have not had a real BBQ experience until you have tried a Kansas City hot pocket. Burns so good!
by El Conquistador July 12, 2017
The act of jerking an uncircumcised cock to completion, but holding the load in the foreskin by pinching it shut. Then blowing up the foreskin like a balloon. When quickly released, the resulting explosion delivers the mother of all facials.
Justin and his boyfriend were having a wonderful evening of watching Ryan Gosling movies and licking popcorn butter off each other’s nipples, when things started to get a little frisky. They started with the usual dick slapping, then moved on to a rousing game of “will it fit”. ( Spoiler alert, it always does). Justin finally had an idea to try something new he had heard about in his gay pride chat group. After some cajoling, his boyfriend was definitely down to clown.
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
by El Conquistador January 11, 2025
Going down on a cock while using one or both hands in a twisting motion to enhance pleasure and maximize jizz production.
Thank you for purchasing your new gas powered gawk gawk. Follow the instructions in the quick start guide to begin using your new gas powered gawk gawk. With proper care and maintenance, your new gas powered gawk gawk will provide you years of trouble free service.
Step 1: Before using your gas powered gawk gawk, make sure the shaft is clean and free from any obstacles.
Step 2: Bring the shaft to about eye level. Misalignment could cause poor performance.
Step 3: Set the choke, all the way until properly seated.
Step 4: Pull the starter handle forcefully. The shaft should begin to inflate. If it begins to stutter, ease off the choke a little.
Step 5: Your gawk gawk is provided with two twist throttles. Use both throttles for maximum output.
Step 6: Now rev both throttles simultaneously, like a two stroke Yamaha, while applying gentle suction on the open end
of the shaft.
Step 7: Continue until completely empty, if used properly, your gawk gawk will remove every drop.
Pro tip: For added performance, press the brown supercharger button located on the rear.
Step 1: Before using your gas powered gawk gawk, make sure the shaft is clean and free from any obstacles.
Step 2: Bring the shaft to about eye level. Misalignment could cause poor performance.
Step 3: Set the choke, all the way until properly seated.
Step 4: Pull the starter handle forcefully. The shaft should begin to inflate. If it begins to stutter, ease off the choke a little.
Step 5: Your gawk gawk is provided with two twist throttles. Use both throttles for maximum output.
Step 6: Now rev both throttles simultaneously, like a two stroke Yamaha, while applying gentle suction on the open end
of the shaft.
Step 7: Continue until completely empty, if used properly, your gawk gawk will remove every drop.
Pro tip: For added performance, press the brown supercharger button located on the rear.
by El Conquistador May 09, 2022
A large load of jizm delivered to the back of ones throat, covering the uvula and tonsils in warm, thick, well churned sperm milk. Not to be confused with the low fat version, I Can’t Believe it’s not Tonsil Butter.
Stuck at work late at night, Cody and Ryan needed a quick snack. All they had in the fridge, of course, was some cheap canned biscuits and eleven jars of grape jelly. Cody started to cry as his hunger pains told him that would not be enough to satisfy him. Ryan wanted to help his friend, so he offered to whip up a fresh batch of tonsil butter for Cody. He gladly accepted Ryan’s generous offering of tonsil butter with enthusiasm. Cody was so moved he was speechless. With a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat, he gave Ryan a big bear hug. Of course Ryan, always the giver, didn’t know who was more satisfied; Cody for the receiving or himself the giving.
by El Conquistador February 20, 2020
An elderly woman with no teeth giving a blow job. Possibly the closest to heaven any living man is likely to get.
by El conquistador January 17, 2014
I love it when my GF holds my runt ball in her mouth and hums the national anthem. God bless America!
by El Conquistador July 10, 2017