Nogtard

The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.

Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?

Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 30, 2009

Maltby Bog

Formerly Known as, Nogtard's Bog. The bog that belonged to Nogtard until it was put on the Maltby Lorry aside the Pork Scotch Cone. A day after the bog claimed residency of the lorry, a packet of ginger found its way into the bog. mmm, ginger.

Nogtard: Nickin me bog then?

Dad: It belongs to the heroes now. It's called the Maltby Bog.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 27, 2009

Pork Scotch Talent

The amazing ability of Pork Scotch's to bore you to bloody death just by saying "hello" to you. If he ever sees that you are in his boring presence you must escape it immediately because if the boring, gay twat so much as looks you in the eye, you will drop to the floor and fall into a deep sleep. He has entered many talent shows and the reason he didn't win was because he knocked out all the judges when he got on the stage and said "Hello there I'm Max" while wearing his shades that make him look important. He thinks he knocks all the ladies out because he's 'drop dead gorgeous'.

Pork Scotch: Hello Alex.

Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!

Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...

Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 28, 2009