1078 definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Reference to your girl’s tight little asshole. The bunghole. The sphincter.
I’ll be buttering the queen’s bagel tonight.

I declare that’s the queen’s bagel was quite fresh when I poached the hole.
by Eaton Holgoode May 06, 2018
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The Therapeutic Joey Jab is the same as a traditional Joey Jabbed or The Flaccid Joey whereby you are poked by a male's penis about your body. However, the Therapeutic Joey Jab act is specific penis poking to the head or forehead by a male massage therapist. The act occurs when a male massage therapist rubs his penis and genital area around on the top or forehead of a massage recipient while they are face down in a massage chair. Generally, one receives the Therapeutic Joey Jab when the therapist is working from the front of the chair and reaching down the recipient's back.
After providing in office chair massages to staff during Staff Appreciation Week, the Human Resources Department received numerous comments from personnel that the hired male massage therapist had been giving both male and female massage recipients, a Therapeutic Joey Jab. HR could only respond by indicating that would explain the all day smile on the Therapist's face.
by Eaton Holgoode April 22, 2015
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Is performed by a couple m/m or m/f or f/f. One partner stands while the other partner kneels facing the standing partner's ass. The kneeling partner then grasps the other partner on the sides of their buttocks to restrict their movement. The kneeling partner then places their face in the ass crack of the standing partner during which time they move their head side to side after placing their lips against the ass.

This act is similar to that which was performed by Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club when she held the lipstick between her breasts and moved her head side to side to cover her lips with lipstick. Thus, the name The Ringwald.

This is the same act as analingus but easier to say in public without drawing attention.
Tony dropped his pants in front of Shelia. Shelia grabbed is buttocks and buried her face in his ass. She moved her lips and face from side to side. When she was done, she looked up, smiled and said to Tony, "Thanks for The Ringwald".
by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009
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Euphemism for a plush, posh or high end restroom. A fancy shitter. Such that you find at an upscale hotel, restaurant or office building. Not your local gas station crapper or rest stop facility.
Pull over. I gotta shit. Ok. Next rest stop is 2 Miles. Rest stop? Are you kidding me, I only pinch my loaves in a Shitz Carlton. Find a hotel and stop there.

I’m very impressed with your restroom remodeling. I must say you’ve created the Shitz Carlton I would truly enjoy heaving out my daily deuce in here.
by Eaton Holgoode May 24, 2018
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1. The nickname of the well renowned hillbilly heaven that is the State of Missouri.

2. To reach the appropriate point in a relationship or friendship between two people, straight or gay, when it is time to expose each other's genitals to one another to know what you have to work with.
1. Stan took a vacation to Branson, Missouri. Never had he before seen such an enclave of red necks and hillbilly folk. He was so thankful when he left that he had not been dragged into the woods and made to squeal like a pig.

2. After two months of dating, Dan and Karla had reached The Show-Me State. Karla was ready to see the heat that Dan was packing and to give in a long awaited Hummer. Unfortunately, she was sorely disappointed when she discovered all she was going to be dining on was a Vienna Sausage.
by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2015
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When three dudes are banging one chick at the same time and their ball sacks are smacking against her chin, her ass and the vagina/taint all in rhythmic harmony. Smack, smack, smack.
What’s that smacking sound coming from your roommate’s room? Oh he and his two Bros are doing the three bag slap on the chick next door. Sweet!
by Eaton Holgoode November 28, 2017
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The Toledo Tablecloth is primarily used to score revenge or payback and is similar to a Texas Doily. The Toledo Tablecloth is best deployed over an end table or other small decorative table. Once deployed, a rapid exit from the location where it has been laid should be made so as to leave the tablecloth behind for furture discovery.

To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.
Unfortunately, Roger got off from work early and decided to drop by his girlfriend Mary Ann's house and surprise her. To Roger's dismay, he crept in only to find Mary Ann having sex with her neighbor Carl. Roger walked in just as Carl was diggning in the garden. Rather than becoming enraged, Roger did not disrupt their doggie style play and left the room. He copped a squat in the living room and laid a fresh, wet shart in his grunders. He then created The Toledo Tablecloth on Mary Ann's brand new Rooms To Go end table. He quickly left the house so he could clean up his sticky crack corn at a nearby 7-11.
by Eaton Holgoode February 20, 2014
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