Trouser Tug

A discreet method for a male to give himself a quick wank inside of his trousers. Generally performed by masturbating the genitals with the hands placed in one or both of the pants pockets. Occurs commonly in public places or during work hours when open masturbation would be very problematic or one cannot move to private location for relief. Trouser Tugs generally do not reach full climax due to the mess and problems associated with the appearance of Trouser Gravy.

Dan was so horny at work sitting in his cubicle while on conference call. Since he couldn't leave the call to go to the men's room for a quick wank to blow his load, he chose to sit at his desk and give himself a Trouser Tug instead. He chose not to cream himself and blow Trouser Gravy as he had to meet with his boss after the call.

by Eaton Holgoode September 30, 2015

Corn Countdown

Purposely eating one or more servings of corn to time and count your digestive process. The countdown from consumption to evacuation and spotting said corn in one’s shit.

I’ve been having some bowel issues lately. My doctor recommended a corn countdown before ordering any tests.

by Eaton Holgoode April 03, 2018

Wood Varnish

A shiny cock and ball sack after receiving an exceptionally wet and slobbery blow job. Usually requires wipe up with doddle rag, sock or towel.

Roger's girlfriend gives the wettest, sloppiest head. It always leaves him dripping with Wood Varnish.

by Eaton Holgoode May 19, 2015

Prune the Shrub

To trim and tidy up one’s wooly haired pubic region.

I got a date tonight. I better prune the shrub before I go just in case I get lucky.

by Eaton Holgoode December 13, 2018

Uncled

When you have been touched, fondled, fingered or coitaled by your uncle.

Hun, Aunt Rachel called and wants to know if you want to spend the weekend with cousin Tommy. No thanks mom. I get uncled every time I go there. I was really sore the last time. Ok. I’ll tell her maybe.

Pretty sure I got uncled last night about midnight. The door opened and then a pillow over my face and some quick moving hands.

by Eaton Holgoode June 15, 2018

Dumpling Steamer

When a male or female takes a male's balls and ball sack into their mouth while the mouth is also partially filled with a warm liquid of choice. Generally performed with warm water or English Tea but any warm beverage will suffice. The feeling produced is a warm, steamy feeling on the balls and scrotum akin to the warmth of Chinese dumplings sitting in a bamboo steamer.

Tonya filled her mouth with a little warm water then gingerly inhaled her boyfriend's dangling, hanging ball sack. The frothy warm water on his sack was stimulating and he told her she gives the best dumpling steamer.

by Eaton Holgoode May 15, 2015

Ham Water

Excessive fat in the feces. Causes a very oily turd and often foul smelling (not as if shit smells like a bouquet of roses in the first place). See also Steatorrhea for the clinical.

This ham water is oily and greasy. Not to mention stanks. I’ve got to cut out the fried chicken.

by Eaton Holgoode June 09, 2018