Definitions by Doctor Phew
Anal
Commonly known as "sticking it up the wrong one". Anal Sex is something most of us claim to perform on our girlfriends/wives but nearly all of us never do.
Anal Sex is....
1) Something your mother is good at.
2) Dirty. That's why it's so good.
3) Something you'd gladly tell your friends you've done, but your girlfriend or wife would never tell a living soul.
4) What makes us all feel like porn stars.
5) Something your girlfriend or wife finds painful even if you have a small penis.
6) Something that requires a LOT OF LUBE.
7) Something that requires a condom. Unless you want what your wife or girlfriend had for their breakfast the day before on the end of your penis.
8) Smelly. See #2
9) Gives you entertainment afterwards by watching your girlfriend or wife's anus close.
10) Something that makes you erect just thinking about. Just like 99% of the men are just now reading this.
Anal Sex is....
1) Something your mother is good at.
2) Dirty. That's why it's so good.
3) Something you'd gladly tell your friends you've done, but your girlfriend or wife would never tell a living soul.
4) What makes us all feel like porn stars.
5) Something your girlfriend or wife finds painful even if you have a small penis.
6) Something that requires a LOT OF LUBE.
7) Something that requires a condom. Unless you want what your wife or girlfriend had for their breakfast the day before on the end of your penis.
8) Smelly. See #2
9) Gives you entertainment afterwards by watching your girlfriend or wife's anus close.
10) Something that makes you erect just thinking about. Just like 99% of the men are just now reading this.
"Hi Mom and dad! This is Mysti and she's really into Anal Sex"
"Sorry I'm late, my darling. I went to see your mother and ended up having anal sex with her"
"Hello? I'm sorry, I can't come into work today. I had anal sex last night for the first time and I'm finding it hard to sit down"
"Sorry I'm late, my darling. I went to see your mother and ended up having anal sex with her"
"Hello? I'm sorry, I can't come into work today. I had anal sex last night for the first time and I'm finding it hard to sit down"
Anal by Doctor Phew August 17, 2011
Muff
Pubic hair on a woman. Relates to the surrounding vaginal area on a woman who is:
1) Unaware that pubic hair is now a crime punishable by death
2) Thinks it's attractive to have hair bursting out at the sides of her underwear (aka spider legs escaping the nest)
3) Unclean and enjoys the smell of the odour of her vaginal fluid and other bodily fluids seeping onto her pubes
4) Something you see on a woman in pre-1990s porn
1) Unaware that pubic hair is now a crime punishable by death
2) Thinks it's attractive to have hair bursting out at the sides of her underwear (aka spider legs escaping the nest)
3) Unclean and enjoys the smell of the odour of her vaginal fluid and other bodily fluids seeping onto her pubes
4) Something you see on a woman in pre-1990s porn
"I love washing my face in your muff"
"I thought you were wearing black skimpy panties until I realised it's your muff"
"I thought you were wearing black skimpy panties until I realised it's your muff"
Muff by Doctor Phew August 17, 2011
Micropenis
An extremely small penis. Micropenis is extremely popular in men from Oriental descent (explains the lack of Oriental male porn stars). To be labelled as having a micropenis is the most degrading insult a woman can give a man. Men with a micropenis are usually virgins for life. A micropenis is medically proven to be worthless. Men with a micropenis are usually manic depressives. Most men with a micropenis usually commit suicide - usually after being laughed at for having a teeny-weeny penis. A micropenis is very common amongst steroid using body builders. A micropenis can sometimes be confused for a clitoris.
"I wanted to have sex with him so bad, but his micropenis didn't even penetrate my vaginal lips"
"Anal sex doesn't hurt because my boyfriend has a micropenis"
"Anal sex doesn't hurt because my boyfriend has a micropenis"
Micropenis by Doctor Phew August 17, 2011
BBW
Big Beautiful Woman (Women). In other words, a nice term for a fat chick. Most aren't even beautiful. Just big women. BBW's are women most men crave about having sex with, but would never admit to their friends. Sex with a BBW is said to be out of this world as because of their size, a BBW will let you do anything to them as they don't know when the next time they'll have sex with a man. As a result, most BBW's become lesbians. BBW on the internet are misleading. Most are beautiful. In real life, a BBW is ugly. It's a known fact that you can tell when a BBW reaches orgasm: she stops eating.
"No darling, I don't mind that you've put on a bit of weight. I've always wanted to have sex with a BBW"
BBW by Doctor Phew August 17, 2011