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Definitions by Dictionnaire Diabolique

Collateral divorcage 

Harm done to innocent bystanders by the explosive dissolution of a long-term relationship.
My friendship with Naomi didn't survive the split between Mary and me. She was collateral divorcage.

friend price

Price demanded by someone who doesn't value you.
Can't believe he asked me to shoot his wedding for a friend price of $100. For fuck's sake, I'm a professional photographer! Been doing this shit for years. I normally charge, at minimum, $5000 to shoot a wedding.
Quality time that self-absorbed narcissists set aside for themselves.
“My problem,” said the self-absorbed narcissist at the yoga retreat, “is that I'm just too giving. I really need to learn how to be a little more selfish. How to set aside a little more, you know, me time.”

be realistic 

Look, I know you think you should actually be paid for doing all of this creative work; but, come on, be realistic, you're getting some great exposure here.

apocalyptiboner 

The feeling of great enthusiasm and excitement which washes over some people when they contemplate the complete destruction of the world.
Everything he said about the impending crisis made sense, but the glee in his voice was downright disturbing. He could barely conceal his apocalyptiboner.

alternative facts 

Grant was caught having sex with his wife's best friend. And there was smoking-gun proof: a sex-tape made by a private investigator hired to check up on him. But Kellyanne says she can get him off. She's gonna present his wife with some alternative facts.

nostalgiagasm 

An emotionally ejaculatory experience brought on by an intense wave of nostalgia.
Had an intense nostalgiagasm last night whilst listening to The Pet Shop Boys . It was actually too much. Had to turn it off right in the middle of "Being Boring".