Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 03, 2020
A limp, flaccid penis.
Despite a half hour of oral, he was nothing but a lifeless limb. Whiskey Dick is real.
I beat dem gutz till I had nutted myself to a lifeless limb.
Rory tugged and tugged but his lifeless limb never would solute.
I beat dem gutz till I had nutted myself to a lifeless limb.
Rory tugged and tugged but his lifeless limb never would solute.
by Dick Onchin December 13, 2021
What is it doc? I feel horrible and I think my cock is going to rot off.
Have you had anal?
Yes.
Was he or she clean?
No. She was a street walker and gave it up for $5 so I had to clap them cheeks. Wouldn’t you?
Ummmm. No. That’s nasty. You have the ass crack fever. Here is a script now go soak your penis in bleach.
Have you had anal?
Yes.
Was he or she clean?
No. She was a street walker and gave it up for $5 so I had to clap them cheeks. Wouldn’t you?
Ummmm. No. That’s nasty. You have the ass crack fever. Here is a script now go soak your penis in bleach.
by Dick Onchin August 26, 2020
When one makes an expedition through a female’s laundry hamper hunting for a prized and coveted pair of soiled panties to sniff. A hamper safari is truly an adventurous exploration and exciting journey.
The party at the sorority house last night was an absolute hamper safari. My olfactory senses could not have been more satisfied.
by Dick Onchin October 01, 2020
Due to social distancing, simulating the performance of a traditional Turkey Slap by swinging the penis back and forth, 6 ft away from her face with no physical contact.
While not as physically satisfying as it would be under non-pandemic circumstances, the act of lovingly pseudo-slapping your partner in the face with an erect or semi erect penis is still a coveted tradition especially around Thanksgiving.
While not as physically satisfying as it would be under non-pandemic circumstances, the act of lovingly pseudo-slapping your partner in the face with an erect or semi erect penis is still a coveted tradition especially around Thanksgiving.
My hot cousin came to town for thanksgiving. While i normally would give her a Turkey slap after everyone went to bed, we kept our distance and had to settle for the covid Turkey slap instead. I gave her a little helicopter penis action as well.
by Dick Onchin November 13, 2020
I used three fingers to batter my bean last night and my toes curled when I squirted.
My sister decided to batter her bean online on her onlyfans.
My wife must have decided to batter the bean cause she sheets were soaked.
My sister decided to batter her bean online on her onlyfans.
My wife must have decided to batter the bean cause she sheets were soaked.
by Dick Onchin October 21, 2020
Come over here you slut and speak to mister microphone.
She blew mister microphone for a half hour till I busted nutz.
She blew mister microphone for a half hour till I busted nutz.
by Dick Onchin September 13, 2020