Definitions by D. Gould

quality control 

Used in retail, to describe a customer who insists on handling everything, but purchasing nothing. Most often they are white men. Middle aged to early seniors, married, heavyset, with thick glasses. Can easily be spotted, because they inspect the price tag, while holding it three inches from their face.

"Don't waste your time helping 'quality control', when there are serious buyers elsewhere in the shop."

quality control by D. Gould January 28, 2007

dick-hot 

When a straight guy finds a girl SO incredibly attractive, he would have sex with her, even if he first found out she was actually a transvestite.

"Amy Lee is not just hot.....She's dick-hot!

dick-hot by D. Gould January 24, 2007

toilet seat

An inconsistency in someone's characteristics, behaviours, beliefs or actions. Refered to as such because, like a toilet seat, they're always undecidedly "up and down" about whatever it is.

"Is Jim going to the party on Saturday?"

"Naw. He's being a toilet seat about it."

toilet seat by D. Gould January 24, 2007

traffic cop 

A blunt force object (such as a hammer or crowbar), carried on a motorcycle, used to extract revenge. When a vehicle is driven too carelessly next to a rider, and they are subsequently almost run over, the "traffic cop" is withdrawn from its respective sheath, and used to smash the windshield of the offending party.

"I fitted the frame of my bike with a traffic cop. Ya know....Just in case."

traffic cop by D. Gould January 15, 2007

Newfie Retirement Fund

Anyone who frequently plays the lottery, in hopes of acquiring financial security.

"Did you check our numbers, for the Newfie Retirement Fund?"

"Ya. And we didn't win. So we can't retire this week."

Newfie Retirement Fund by D. Gould January 9, 2007

Twinkie trade 

The going rate of any new inmate, upon his arrival to prision. His exact value being "one Twinkie". Often temporarily traded from one lifer to another, for sexual favours.

"Hey, man. I need to borrow your gimp for the night. Can I pay with a Twinkie trade?"

Twinkie trade by D. Gould January 6, 2007

shit magnet

Any person, in which trouble and drama, follows them everywhere they go.

"Stay away from that chick. She's a total shit magnet."

shit magnet by D. Gould January 3, 2007