D. Gould's definitions

professional bargainer

In retail, a customer who feels they are absolved, for whatever reason, from paying the full retail, or even sale price, of an item. They are ruthlessly aggressive, cutthroat, and Grade-A social bottomfeeders, of the lowest order. Often they will use every lie or excuse in the book, in order to garnish themselves a deal. They will claim a product is damaged, when it is not. They will claim to be family of staff, when they are not. Females will attempt to use sexual charm, while males prefer verbal aggression, to try and break down a salesperson. Easily spotted. Often found standing in the middle of the store, yelling at the top of their lungs, and making an ass of themselves.

"If that 'professional bargainer' makes a purchase from you, make sure you hit him up with the hidden 'PAIN IN MY ASS' tax. He has it coming to him!"

by D. Gould January 13, 2006

switch hit

Masterbating, with your non-dominant hand. Much like a "friendly stranger", it supposedly gives one the feeling of being tugged by another person.

"If you're right-handed, why don't you jerk off with your right hand?"

"Because if you switch hit, it makes you cum faster."

by D. Gould June 11, 2006

seminal lip balm

Semen, that has strayed onto a woman's lips, after giving head or receiving a "money shot".

"Baby, you have some chapped lips. Come here. I got some seminal lip balm for ya!"

by D. Gould September 30, 2006

Jim Jones Kool Aid

Any poisonous, liquid concoction one drinks, in order to commit suicide. Taken from the infamous "Jonestown massacre" mass suicide, when cult leader Jim Jones killed his flock with poisoned punch.

"Drain cleaner and Jack Daniels? That's a Jim Jones Kool Aid, if I EVER heard one!"

by D. Gould March 1, 2006

professional protester

Any unemployed, fanatically Liberal protester, who spends an inordinate amount of time protesting the Republican wing. Often protests so frequently, they lose track of what they are actually protesting. Usually falls within the age range of 18-35. Descriptions include bad dye jobs, nasty facial piercings, and copious amounts of tacky tattoos. While adopting a "hippy-ish" style dresscode, and associated hygiene practices.

"Berkeley University in California, produces the highest number of professional protesters, in all United States."

by D. Gould February 15, 2006

rack bitch

The loser in a game of pool, who as a result of their loss, must rack the cue balls for the winner.

"Hurry up, rack bitch! I ain't got all day!"

by D. Gould June 22, 2008

trick card

Pre-designed cards left on top a bar, usually in a drink glass, for patrons. They are used to write down a person's name and phone number. Should they happen to hook-up with someone in a bar or club.

"You got that chick's phone number?"

"Ya. It's right here...Oh shit. I lost my trick card! FUCK!!!"

by D. Gould August 20, 2008