Definitions by Curtis Claymore

Bearded Spider 

When a person's pubes are infested with lice or other creepy-crawlies.

Bro, I went downtown faster than the A1, but then she hits me with a Bearded Spider and I'm all like, "WTF?"

Bearded Spider by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025

Aspirated Aardvark 

When a male partner climaxes in his partner’s throat and the partner chokes on the ejaculate, proceeding to cough violently, spewing gobs all over the place.

Bro, I didn't mean to give her an Aspirated Aardvark. The BJ was just too good to resist.

Aspirated Aardvark by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025

Alabama Crab Bucket 

When, in an effort to remove genital lice, one or both parties shave their pubes into a sink, bucket, or other vessel, then light the contents on fire and use bodily fluids to put out the fire.

Bro, last night was nasty. Between the two of us, we had more lice than I've ever seen. We had to pull an Alabama Crab Bucket just to get started.

Alabama Crab Bucket by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025