64 definitions by Cunty Fresh Fanatic

Any bullshitter claiming to be involved in a company, corporation, partnership, et cetera and/or claiming to be an investor in stocks, commodities, bonds, et cetera. Usually used to bed a woman, but also to get inept and submissive people to bow to them.
loser: Yeah I'm looking everyday, for something new to invest my money in.

Me: Oh, you day-trade?

loser: No. I have my money in a mutual fund. I was looking to invest my money in a restaurant franchise. Me and my wife are going to look at property today.

winner: That'll be around a million for high traffic real estate, a million to purchase a franchise, plus your going to have to ante up to whomever owns any exclusivity rights, plus you have to...

loser: It shouldn't be that much. My friend that makes mad money, selling time shares, he found me the property.

Me: Mad money?

loser: Like thirty grand a month in the summer.

Me: Sounds like your impoverished friend is a bit of a bullshitnessman, such as yourself.

loser's wife: Come to think of it, you haven't done thing business-wise since I've known you. That's why I have a hard time getting wet for you.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic May 31, 2011
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The phrase for men with an appetite for barely legal pussy, must always remember.
police officer: Freeze perv, or I'll blow your fucking head off!

innocent dude: She's legal!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 19, 2010
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pooping man: Wow there sure is a lot of crapperfiti in this stall. "Hendrix is God!", "Mike is gay", "UR mom sure can fuck", and "I pissed all over the toilet paper. sucks to be you asshole". It's like they'll all speaking to me.

Why is this paper wet? It cleans better than dry paper.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 26, 2010
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The subject of conversation, is in such dire condition that any attempt to fix it is futile. A variation of the expression you can't polish a turd.
delusional mayor: The Chamber of Commerce and I will revitalize downtown Hazleton.

honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 29, 2010
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When an aeration pump, hose and stone are used to keep an gerbil or other small animal alive within the colon of a man. This increases the prostate stimulation time. Usually, battery powered bait aerator's are preferred because of compactness.
Rob: I got rats because they were cheaper than gerbils. You got the gerbil respirator.

George: I got this D cell powered bait aerator for $7.99, at Walmart.

Rob: Ah fuck, we forgot the tubes.

George: C'mon we're loose enough to go tubeless. You practically need vise grips to keep the little bastard in you long enough to cum.

Rob: Oh do you know me!

(Gay loving ensues.)
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 30, 2010
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The shocking phenomenon, in which the slightest pressure upon an unaroused man's testicles causes pain. Yet during sexual arousal, the testicles can take repetitive strikes painlessly and/or pleasurably.
Woman strikes man with pillow in balls. He falls to ground in fetal position moaning in agony.

Woman feels bad, decides to break him a piece of ass. He fucks all three hole's like a human jackhammer, all night long.

Woman experienced the testicle paradox.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 9, 2010
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The smell or lack thereof, of a freshly cleansed vagina and vulva.
me: Your cunty fresh aroma, makes my heart melt. Ummm.

she: Your weird, but my cunt has never been so fucking clean. Enjoy.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 19, 2010
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