Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching's definitions

Puppet legs

While being in a state of merry intoxication, the inability to control one's legs.

Sod me, I really don't think I should have had that tenth pint of beer and the bottle of vino collapso, I've got the puppet legs on and cant walk to get to the car.

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching August 10, 2010

Ginger Whine

Used to describe somebody with links to the British royal family who does nothing but self publisise and moan while saying he wants a peaceful life.

I see old Dork & Whingy are in the papers again, he really is a ginger whine

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching April 1, 2022

It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me

A typical Plumber to customer remark on viewing a well blocked toilet," It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me"

Embarassed customer- I'm so sorry but the toilets full of floating shit and paper, it makes me want to throw up.

Plumber- Do not worry madam, It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me.

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching May 1, 2012

a jerry in the trench

to have a very itchy arsehole, general discomfort in the arse cleft area

Tom, is that a new disco move ?
Andy, no Ive got a jerry in the trench thats giving me hell !

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching April 12, 2010

plumber's nightmare

A worst case situation for a plumber, on a job with no tea, coffee or biscuits supplied by an unthinking householder.

Fuck these people, no tea all day it's a plumber's nightmare, I will go and piss in their water tank.

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching May 1, 2012

BROWN FINGER SHUFFLE

THE LONG AWAITED SCRATCHING OF THE ARSEHOLE, USUALLY DELAYED BY BEING IN COMPANY, OR JUST GOOD MANNERS

I'm sorry your majesty, but you must excuse me for a moment, I have the urgent need of a brown finger shuffle
Certainly President Obama, these state banquets do give rise to the restless ringpiece !

by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching April 9, 2010