Colonel Hassle's definitions

Plastic

Supporter of a football club made successful by crude wealth, ie, by sheiks or oligarchs, unfairly blowing competition out of the water, eg , a Man City or Chelsea fan

Man City fan: we're the best team in the world
Liverpool fan: fuck off you stupid manc cunt, you're just a fucking plastic

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Lioness

A grizzled old matriarch with lots of wrinkles and laughter lines

Look at that fucking auld lioness, she smokes 60 bifters ( cigarettes) a day

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Bitter blue

An Everton FC fan obsessed and rabidly consumed with hate and jealousy towards Liverpool FC

Look at that auld twat there, he watches every Liverpool game hoping they lose.
Bitter blue cunt.

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Gum job

When a toothless hag fellates you pleasuring your member with her gums

That toothless old slapper sucks like a champ, she gave me the best Gum job ever last night for a pack of cuppa soup

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Toothless gam

The act of receiving a blowjob from someone lacking teeth

My uncle saw a lag get a toothless gam off some old fag when he was in the nick, hahaha!

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Take plug

The act of receiving anal sex

Blkrod: I do not pack shit or take plug, get off my cam, not into shitty fucks dude!

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Hag cunt sniffer

Predominantly, a younger man with a fetish for sniffing pungent old ladys' vaginas, usually prostitutes or slags

That dirty bastard's a real hag cunt sniffer, he loves old sluts

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019