Colonel Hassle's definitions

Gum job

When a toothless hag fellates you pleasuring your member with her gums

That toothless old slapper sucks like a champ, she gave me the best Gum job ever last night for a pack of cuppa soup

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Wackees

Vernacular for pills, or, ecstasy, peculiar to diminutive bearded rockers with a large propensity for drugs

Volly: are you getting the whores in? are you getting the Chico in? are you getting the wackees ?

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Dead pussy

A long neglected elderly lady's pussy effectively in retirement from sex

Blkrod: Dame, I can put a spark back in that dead pussy

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Well, doggy!

An expression of intoxicated joy or weariness, misquoting Jed Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies

(Small bearded guy in beanie hat slumps in chair and puffs on a fat spliff) : Well, doggy!

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Fake hippy

Anyone wearing long hair because it's fashionable or socially acceptable, ie, many people these days,including dreadlocks, ponytails, and man buns, without any predilection towards or interest in the hippy lifestyle,ie, a total fake or fraud

Look at that stupid scally twat and his long hair, he looks like a fucking psychopath, fake hippy cunt

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Plastic

Supporter of a football club made successful by crude wealth, ie, by sheiks or oligarchs, unfairly blowing competition out of the water, eg , a Man City or Chelsea fan

Man City fan: we're the best team in the world
Liverpool fan: fuck off you stupid manc cunt, you're just a fucking plastic

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Man bun

Modern term for a top knot, popularised by millionaire footballers who think they're film stars or catwalk models, and copied by hipsters and assorted idiots without a speck of individuality but stupidly think they're being different

Look at that stupid hipster cunt with his man bun, I'd like to set his hair and beard alight, the twat!

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019