Colonel Hassle's definitions

Gum job

When a toothless hag fellates you pleasuring your member with her gums

That toothless old slapper sucks like a champ, she gave me the best Gum job ever last night for a pack of cuppa soup

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Dead pussy

A long neglected elderly lady's pussy effectively in retirement from sex

Blkrod: Dame, I can put a spark back in that dead pussy

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Wackees

Vernacular for pills, or, ecstasy, peculiar to diminutive bearded rockers with a large propensity for drugs

Volly: are you getting the whores in? are you getting the Chico in? are you getting the wackees ?

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Toothless gam

The act of receiving a blowjob from someone lacking teeth

My uncle saw a lag get a toothless gam off some old fag when he was in the nick, hahaha!

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Hag cunt sniffer

Predominantly, a younger man with a fetish for sniffing pungent old ladys' vaginas, usually prostitutes or slags

That dirty bastard's a real hag cunt sniffer, he loves old sluts

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Plastic

Supporter of a football club made successful by crude wealth, ie, by sheiks or oligarchs, unfairly blowing competition out of the water, eg , a Man City or Chelsea fan

Man City fan: we're the best team in the world
Liverpool fan: fuck off you stupid manc cunt, you're just a fucking plastic

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Bizee

Vernacular for a turd, usually delivered by woolly backs, or people adjacent to Liverpool with Lancashire or Cheshire accents

Brian: I've done a big bizee and blocked the toilet up again!

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019