Colonel Hassle's definitions

Gum job

When a toothless hag fellates you pleasuring your member with her gums

That toothless old slapper sucks like a champ, she gave me the best Gum job ever last night for a pack of cuppa soup

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Fake hippy

Anyone wearing long hair because it's fashionable or socially acceptable, ie, many people these days,including dreadlocks, ponytails, and man buns, without any predilection towards or interest in the hippy lifestyle,ie, a total fake or fraud

Look at that stupid scally twat and his long hair, he looks like a fucking psychopath, fake hippy cunt

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Toothless gam

The act of receiving a blowjob from someone lacking teeth

My uncle saw a lag get a toothless gam off some old fag when he was in the nick, hahaha!

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Take plug

The act of receiving anal sex

Blkrod: I do not pack shit or take plug, get off my cam, not into shitty fucks dude!

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Hag cunt sniffer

Predominantly, a younger man with a fetish for sniffing pungent old ladys' vaginas, usually prostitutes or slags

That dirty bastard's a real hag cunt sniffer, he loves old sluts

by Colonel Hassle July 27, 2019

Plastic

Supporter of a football club made successful by crude wealth, ie, by sheiks or oligarchs, unfairly blowing competition out of the water, eg , a Man City or Chelsea fan

Man City fan: we're the best team in the world
Liverpool fan: fuck off you stupid manc cunt, you're just a fucking plastic

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019

Bizee

Vernacular for a turd, usually delivered by woolly backs, or people adjacent to Liverpool with Lancashire or Cheshire accents

Brian: I've done a big bizee and blocked the toilet up again!

by Colonel Hassle July 28, 2019