A Zoidberg is when a friend gives you a hand job with a crab. He/she positions the crabs claw around your penis, and the friend then jerks the crab up and down. In essence, the Zoidberg is a dutch-rudder via crab claw.
Professor Farnsworth: "Good news everybody! I just got a Zoidberg!"
Fry: "Ewww, you let him touch you?"
Professor Farnsworth: "Good God no! I had Bubble Gum fondle me through half a fiddler crab."
Fry: "Ewww, you let him touch you?"
Professor Farnsworth: "Good God no! I had Bubble Gum fondle me through half a fiddler crab."
by Cockdriller April 18, 2010
A sexual position. A man or woman coats their hand and forearm with napalm, and then sets it alight. After this they then yell out "FALCON FIST!!!!" and proceed to fist a female in her vagina. She must be a firecrotch, or this could become dangerous.
Peter Parker: Yo, I totally Falcon Fisted MJ last night!
Harry: No way! Do the carpets match the drapes?
Peter: Yeah, luckily...if she wasn't a firecrotch she could have been pretty badly burned.
Harry: No way! Do the carpets match the drapes?
Peter: Yeah, luckily...if she wasn't a firecrotch she could have been pretty badly burned.
by Cockdriller April 06, 2010
A sexual act that occurs when person A shits into a clarinet, lights it on fire, and forcible inserts it into the anus or vagina of person B. This is not a sexual act for the faint of heart.
Becky: Ohhhhh, baby, give me that flaming clarinet!
Ryan: I don't know, I just pooped. I don't think I can squeeze one out right now.
Becky: It's fine. I just ate Taco Bell; the poop is flowing like the Rio Grande!
Ryan: I don't know, I just pooped. I don't think I can squeeze one out right now.
Becky: It's fine. I just ate Taco Bell; the poop is flowing like the Rio Grande!
by Cockdriller August 11, 2010