Cockdriller's definitions

Zoidberg

A Zoidberg is when a friend gives you a hand job with a crab. He/she positions the crabs claw around your penis, and the friend then jerks the crab up and down. In essence, the Zoidberg is a dutch-rudder via crab claw.

Professor Farnsworth: "Good news everybody! I just got a Zoidberg!"
Fry: "Ewww, you let him touch you?"
Professor Farnsworth: "Good God no! I had Bubble Gum fondle me through half a fiddler crab."

by Cockdriller April 18, 2010

Falcon Fist

A sexual position. A man or woman coats their hand and forearm with napalm, and then sets it alight. After this they then yell out "FALCON FIST!!!!" and proceed to fist a female in her vagina. She must be a firecrotch, or this could become dangerous.

Peter Parker: Yo, I totally Falcon Fisted MJ last night!
Harry: No way! Do the carpets match the drapes?
Peter: Yeah, luckily...if she wasn't a firecrotch she could have been pretty badly burned.

by Cockdriller April 5, 2010

Shaquille O'Neal

The Shaquille O'Neal is a sexual maneuver done while receiving a blowjob. When about to climax, the man should proceed to force the woman's head down with such intensity that his penis goes through the roof of her mouth and out the back of her skull. Essentially, 'slam dunking' her head like the object of extracurricular enjoyment that it is.

*Warning, do not actually attempt the Shaquille O'Neal, as it will result in death*

Tyrone: Did you hear!?
Jamaal: What ma nigga?
Tyrone: OJ is on trial again. Turns out he murdered another one of his bitches, this time by Shaquille O'Nealing her.

Jamaal: Oh shit! That crazy fucka neva learns!

by cockdriller November 19, 2010