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Carl J. Maltese's definitions

United Provinces of America

From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
mugGet the United Provinces of Americamug.

space marine

Technically, the troopers in "Starship Troopers" were known as 'The Mobile Infantry,' storm troopers, shock troops, marines, and army special forces all rolled into one.

The military personal featured in "Aliens" and "Space: Above and Beyond" were 'space marines.'

'Space Marines' were also featured in the Japanimation show "Space Battleship Yamato/Star Blazers." In the original Japanese show they were called 'The Space Calvary."

In the James Bond movie "Moonraker," Drax's space station is attacked by U.S. Astronaut Marines--different beast entirely.
"The Space Marines will make their stand here on Broomus! Victory or death!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 16, 2007
mugGet the space marinemug.

Betz

"I dare to shout 'Betz!' the spoken name of the Ultimate Evil! I dare not ever utter It's Unspeakable Name, It's Unspoken Name, It's True Name!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
mugGet the Betzmug.

toasterphobia

Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!
Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"

Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007
mugGet the toasterphobiamug.

Eastasia

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984." Eastasia consists of China, Mongolia, India, parts of the middle-east not occupied by Eurasia, Indochina, Malaysia, New Guinea, Korea, all the Japanese islands, and all the remaining pacific islands not occupied by Oceania. A description of their flag is unknown.
All three superstates have the exact same styles of government, with the same ideologies, but with different names. Oceania calls it "Ingsoc" (English Socialism in newspeak), Eurasia calls it "Neo-Bolshevism," and the Eastasian term translates as "death-of-the-self."
Ostensibly, the three superstates are waging continuous war for the contol of Central Africa, Madagasgar, the middle-east, Indochina, and the north and south polar ice caps.

See also: Oceania, Eurasia, 1984, and George Orwell.
"We are at war with Eastasia. We've always been at war with Eastasia."
by Carl J. Maltese April 24, 2007
mugGet the Eastasiamug.

chrome covered cuntmobile

1) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car designed soley for attracting shallow minded women.

2) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car driven by a pimp.
Tim: "Check-out Danny In is chrome covered cuntmobile!"

John: "Think He'll pick-up chicks in that thing?"

Tim: "Hell! You already know he's a pimp with ten years experience!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 17, 2007
mugGet the chrome covered cuntmobilemug.

Cheerleader story

This is the imfamous urban myth about the cheerleader who: Gets on the bus with the winning football team, performs oral sex on every guy...swallows...more than once in some cases...and then becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped!

Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!

Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
"In the urban myth known as the Cheerleader story, the girl performed so much hot oral sex on the football team during their bus-ride home she had to have her stomach pumped! Guess she swallowed a little too much!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 27, 2007
mugGet the Cheerleader storymug.

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