CaptainCrunk's definitions

Babushka's Blessing

When an older Eastern European woman pushes on a wealthy man's ass while he fucks the woman's daughter or granddaughter, in the hopes that a baby will take, and the young woman's future can be secured with finances and a green card.

I dated a young Romanian woman, and when we finally got to having sex, her mother stood behind me with a Babushka's Blessing.

by captaincrunk April 15, 2020

fire stoker

When you dip your penis in hot pepper oil, and proceed to fuck your partner in the mouth, pussy, or ass.

My old lady wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, so I gave her a fire stoker up the poop shoot!

by captaincrunk April 3, 2020

sticky lint roller

When a man slaps and teases his woman's hairy bush, knocking out lint and dust, before finally ejaculating into her pube jungle.

Picked up a waitress at a local dive bar. Had a bush like the Amazon, so I had to give her the old sticky lint roller.

by captaincrunk April 3, 2020

Mombassa Bench Press

I’ll make one up right now. The Mombassa bench press: When you fuck a black girl reverse cowgirl, while two slaves under each one of her legs lift her up and down, giving you an effortless free fuck fit for a King. Optional: you are holding 2 gold plated desert eagles.

“Missed you at the pub Randy, where were you?”

“Oh I was just giving Ayana from accounting a Mombassa Bench Press”

by captaincrunk March 27, 2020

Fuel Dump

When a man drinks a lot of water, and urinates into his partner’s tight asshole, as if an air tanker is refueling an airplane. The partner then shits the smelly poop juice out, carrying out the fuel dump.

I was fucking Sarah in the ass, but needed to piss. She told me to piss inside her ass, and she proceeded to do a fuel dump onto my chest.

by captaincrunk February 8, 2020

baseball glove

When a girl eats a man’s (or other) asshole, and the receiver clenches their ass cheeks a few times as if they are grabbing their partner’s head like a baseball.

Gary gave me a baseball glove last night. I thought I was going to suffocate!

by captaincrunk November 2, 2019

Bearskin Squared

When a couple has sex bare skin on a bear skin rug.

My girl and I rented a log cabin, and did the bearskin squared all weekend.

by captaincrunk May 30, 2016