5 definition by Captain Lieutenant

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5 seconds of our life wasted while trying to watch the 11-hour version of Pink Fluffy Unicorns. Also is your excuse when caught watching something you shouldn't be seeing.
Mom: What are you watching?! You're only 13!

Me: It's an ad.

Mom: Oh. Carry on. Btw clean your room.
by Captain Lieutenant October 10, 2015

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Hell in a human form. Unfortunately, they related to you.
My younger sibling drew a self portrait of himself. With lipstick. All over my algebra homework.
by Captain Lieutenant October 10, 2015

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The language of idiots. Every pair of best friends has their own divergent dialect, and other people can only learn it by hanging out with you and your friends for long periods of time. Idiotish is a common language, but is most commonly spoke by the following:
-Teachers who assign homework on weekends

- Donald Trump

- Your ex
- Every music artist ever. (That's why it's so hard to understand music lyrics)
Note: The only language that your siblings speak is idiotish. It is always polite to dumb down your speech so that they understand.
We were supposed to write an essay on trees this weekend, but I didn't know because all I heard was the English teacher spewing idiotish.
by Captain Lieutenant October 10, 2015

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The only people what speak the same dialect of idiotish as you do, and have the right to bust into your house without asking.
Mom: "Why were you in detention? "
Me: "Oh, me and my friends took this person's sandwich in English class and threw it across the room while screaming yolo."
Mom: "Uh-"

Me: "There was an evil pickle across the room, and we had to save all of our classmates! Jimmy threw the sandwich. He died a soldier's death."
by Captain Lieutenant October 10, 2015

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One of the only people who will ever love you as much as she does. She cares about almost everything you do.

Especially your internet history. Oh, and why your room is so messy. And why the heck you are on urbandictionary.com.
Friend: Dude, why weren't you playing Minecraft yesterday? I was waiting for you!

Me: Oh, my mom decided to take away my Xbox.

Friend: Wait-really?

Me: Oh yeah. She got me a first generation iPad instead

Friend: Why?

Me: She wants me to do 'better things with my time.'

Friend: Like getting another Xbox with her money?

Me: Oh yeah. Were do you want to meet up?
by Captain Lieutenant October 10, 2015

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