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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

jock strap

A banana hammock. A jewelbox (for the family jewels).
Bernie wore only a jockstrap on the float in the Poofters on Parade parade.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005
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poofter

The proper, polite word for a male homosexual.

A person who plays Circle Jerk on your front porch, then rings the doorbell and runs away.

A person who enjoys eating butt and burgling turds.
Leonard the White Liberal felt that he must celebrate diversity, so he went to watch the "Poofters on Parade" parade in San Fagcisco. The Dykes on Bikes reminded him of the lions and tigers in a circus parade. Kind of scary! But he enjoyed watching the pooters prancing on their floats. He blew kisses to them as they swished by wearing jock straps. When we saw a chubby poofter wearing cute little bunny ears making prissy lips at the crowd, Leonard decided that, next year, he would be in the parade too.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 19, 2006
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Clam

A sour note played by a musician.
Wheldon thinks he plays like Bird, but he keeps honking out clams.
Letitia hit a clam with her oboe during the Surprise Symphony.
by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008
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stooge-o-matic transmission

An automotive transmission built for people who don't know how to shift gears, such as old granny ladies, mush wimps, effeminate males, soccer moms, and yuppie twits. This transmission has no clutch, and uses a torque converter.

People who don't know how to drive get stooge-o-matic transmissions, and therefore never learn how to drive. They put their brakes on for random cosmic events. They put their brakes on going down hills. You should see all the pantywaist stooge-o-matic drivers with burnt-out brakes on the roads in the Rocky Mountains!
Chalmers the mush wimp drives a sports car with a stooge-o-matic transmission.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005
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passing

When a guy of color dresses and talks like a Young Republican and eats baloney sandwiches on white bread, and all the local white paddies and ofays think that the guy is a white paddy.
Rastus changed his name to Robert, put on a grey suit and a red tie, stopped shuckin' and jivin', and bought a white Oldsmobile. He got the kink out of his hair and stopped drinking cheap malt liquor. Now he's passing down in Racine.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
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.45-70

The .45-70 is a very old, very large rifle cartridge. The fine lever action Marlin model 1895 is chambered for the .45-70. The typical factory load has a 400 grain flat tipped or hollow point bullet. This is a fine cartridge for white-tail and mule deer, elk, moose, bison, and bears of all kinds.
The .45-70 is also a wonderful cartridge for use in the city. The large, heavy bullet makes effective kills on Bloods, Crips, Pachucos, and other slime-ball vermin. With the standard open sights on a Marlin 1895, you can easily grease a greaser at 300 feet -- far out of range of the kinds of guns criminals carry.
You do not have to worry about Crips or Pachukes getting their greasy hands on a .45-70 rifle to shoot back. First, pantywaist liberals in big cities do not own .45-70 rifles, so punks can't steal them. Second, inner city hoodlum slimes all fire guns by holding them on their side at arm's length. If a Pachuco tries that with a .45-70, he will bust all his teeth and his greasy nose too.
Belt Mountain Enterprises makes a "punch bullet" in .45-70. A punch bullet will go through a moose, a bear, or a bison from end to end. It will just as easily go through 11 or 12 Bloods. After it comes out of the last criminal, it will splat against a building, destroying all identifying rifle marks. With a good .45-70 carbine and punch bullets, you can begin cleaning up the neighborhood this afternoon. But be aware that pantywaist liberals hate punch bullets almost as much as they hate guns.
Position yourself correctly in the street, and you can get 8 or 9 low riders with one .45-70 punch bullet.
While Greasy Ramon was taking a dump in front of the bank, he got shot in the ass with a .45-70.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 30, 2007
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boogar man

A big, scary, ugly, mean monster who lives in your closet, or under your bed, or maybe out in the woods, and who will jump out and scare you half to death.
Portagee women love to scare their children with the booger man.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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