Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

paradox

A sound logical argument leading to a logical absurdity.

Here is a paradox:

Nothing is better than a glass of beer.
A half-glass of beer is better than nothing.
Therefore, a half-glass of beer is better than a glass of beer.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006

slop swab

A napkin or serviette, used to wipe crumbs and gravy from your mouth at dinner.

Otto wiped his chops with a slob swab.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

ash tray breath

The typical breath stench of the redneck, fool, and skank. Caused by smoking a cigarette.

Karen has ash tray breath. It smells like the dung of a thousand camels.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005

float

A large vehicle, usually propelled by an engine, used as a moving stage or mobile display in a parade.

In the Rose Parade, floats are ridden by men and women in costumes to celebrate New Years Day.

In every Poofters on Parade parade, a float is ridden (certainly not "manned") by poofters, fags, butt eaters, and corn holers wearing jock straps. They mince, prance, and blow kisses to the crowd. This is all very impressive to white liberals, who always show up to wave at the sissies.

The Dykes on Bikes lead the annual Poofters on Parade parade. Behind the Dykes roll 64 floats covered with mincing pouves, fluttering faerie queans, and swaggering butches.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006

groovy

Delightful, awesome.

The term originated in the 1920s among early jazz musicians as their music was recorded in grooves on a record. It became most popular in the 1950s, and fell from favor by the mid 1960s.

Bird lay down some groovy riffs, man.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

Texas t-shirt

An ass gasket. A paper toilet seat cover commonly found in public restrooms.

This expression has been common since at least the 1950s, and cold be older.

Mrs. Murphy put a Texas t-shirt onto the toilet seat in Hannigan's Bar.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

Cling

What working stiffs do to their guns and their religion. We know this is true because that limp-wristed liberal stove lid, Barack O'Bama, AKA the Irish Jig, told us so.

That Irish Jig O'Bama says we working stiffs cling to our guns and our religion because we are too stupid and ignorant to be limp-wristed liberals. Actually, we cling to our guns and our religion because we are too smart to be limp-wristed liberals.

I'm not going to that dumb-ass liberal meeting. They won't let me cling to my gun in there.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2008