Bob Goatu's definitions

Buttshroom

When a large girl wears both a pair of low riding pants plus a belly showing shirt, the look from behind resembles a mushroom hence, ButtShroom

Um, maam, you should consider a more flattering shirt as in that getup you are really just growing a buttshroom.

by Bob Goatu October 6, 2006

Fauxnicate

Pretend sex. Frottage, rubbing, clothed petting. Anything that results in stickiness and orgasm without any sort of penetration or in fact removal of clothing.

Bob: "I fauxnicated with Trish last night on the bus ride back from the ski-trip."

Ted: "No you didn't. You guys were fully dressed and were just dry humping."

Bob: "I guarantee you we fauxnicated."

Ted: "how about you write that down..."

by Bob Goatu January 13, 2009

Catcatapult

The action by which you eject a cat from the end of your bed who will not stop circling and circling and circling and pawing and kneading and circling unable to "soften" that sixty four square inches of especially hard feather duvet where it plans on sleeping between your feet..

Lift feet, lift one higher and if cat does not voluntarily tumble to the side, hold the blanket down with one foot and rais the other quickly.

Cat will be ejected.

Also useful when the presence of the cat is preventing sex because of its cuteness factor.

I'm in trouble..
Why?
Fluffy was driving me crazy so I catcatapulted it off the bed?
And...
Window was open..
uh oh.
yeah.

by Bob Goatu February 4, 2010

Polywhorin'

A form of psychological ointment one applies when one has ended a particularly long, unpleasant or long and unpleasant relationship.

I hear Fred dumped Wilma finally.

Yeah, that was a long time coming. I saw him out last night polywhorin'.

Good for him.

by Bob Goatu October 28, 2008

Caramel Mining

The process of actively excavating all of the visible caramel or any other non-ice cream components of a box/tub of ice cream to increase the fun level of your late night snack.

"Hey, who was into my ice cream?"
"Oh me, I only had half a bowl"
"Yeah, I see you were caramel mining, there is no more ripple in my caramel ripple"
"Sorry"
"jerk"

by Bob Goatu August 2, 2009

Youtube Tag-Team

The act of opening two youtube videos at the same time and watching one while listening to the other. Particularly good watching a country and western video, usually filled with many partially clad attractive women, whilst listening to music you can actually stomach.

Hey, what are you doing?

Watching this wild video full of T and A while listening to some Morrissey.

Thats kind of contradictive.

Yes, its called Youtube Tag-teaming.

Tis awesome.

Yes, tis,

by Bob Goatu April 17, 2009

Job Shopper

A person who, no matter how good their current job/position is, spends an inordinate amount of time trying to find a better job for more pay, less work, more interesting surroundings etc..

Wow, Fred has quite the nice gig over at the post office. God pay, decent hours, nice.

Yeah but he's trying to get a different job over at FedEx.

Why?

He's a job shopper. Never happy, grass is greener and all that.

What a dick. Order up!

by Bob Goatu May 24, 2009