99 definitions by Blue Cawdrey
Genre of Movie containing a mixture of the following:
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
Bill: Arnold Schwarzenegger is on television tonight in a sword and sandal movie.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
by Blue Cawdrey November 24, 2004
Way of describing a hard faced women perhaps who has a tendancy to drink heavily and to get into frequent fights.
I opened my eyes the next morning and she had a face like a bag of nails, just looking at her gave me a massive soft on so I left before she woke up.
by Blue Cawdrey November 21, 2004
UK: Merchant Navy.
An unlikely tool that older ratings take a delight in sending junior inexperienced ratings to search for.
A variation is 'a tin of tartan paint'.
An unlikely tool that older ratings take a delight in sending junior inexperienced ratings to search for.
A variation is 'a tin of tartan paint'.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
Ned Googled for a PHP function that he wanted information about and two of the links led to websites with no information, just banner adverts, he cussed these banner farms under his breath.
by Blue Cawdrey November 28, 2004
When a driver follows the car in front leaving little or no stopping distance especially at high speed.
This behaviour may stem from any or all of the following:
Lack of imagination.
Never seen pictures of a road accident.
Learning difficulties.
Road rage.
Someone who only managed to pass his/her driving test by giving the examiner a blow job.
Suicidal tendencies.
Having an extra chromosome.
Loneliness or pathological nosiness
Drink or drugs.
Being born with somekind of twat gene.
Driver is busy trying to figure out what the indicator lever is for.
A guy that is so dammed horny that he just can't wait to get to his mothers house.
Many female tailgaters like to put a sign in the rear window of their car stating that there is a 'Baby on Board'.
Tailgating may lead to a car fuck
This behaviour may stem from any or all of the following:
Lack of imagination.
Never seen pictures of a road accident.
Learning difficulties.
Road rage.
Someone who only managed to pass his/her driving test by giving the examiner a blow job.
Suicidal tendencies.
Having an extra chromosome.
Loneliness or pathological nosiness
Drink or drugs.
Being born with somekind of twat gene.
Driver is busy trying to figure out what the indicator lever is for.
A guy that is so dammed horny that he just can't wait to get to his mothers house.
Many female tailgaters like to put a sign in the rear window of their car stating that there is a 'Baby on Board'.
Tailgating may lead to a car fuck
Despite the 70mph limit I clocked 120mph while attempting to shake off the tailgater.
It was pitch black on that road, when I turned my car lights back on I observed that the tailgater had dropped back to reasonable distance.
It was pitch black on that road, when I turned my car lights back on I observed that the tailgater had dropped back to reasonable distance.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
UK: Somebody who is going to or has died, also used in an ireverent way to defuse a situation through humor.
1) Parachutist's reserve chute fails, 'he's a goner for sure'.
2) Submarine sinks below a depth where rescue is possible.
'The whole crew are goners poor bastards'.
3) Harry did not get home till 5am, he'll be a goner when his wife gets hold of him.
2) Submarine sinks below a depth where rescue is possible.
'The whole crew are goners poor bastards'.
3) Harry did not get home till 5am, he'll be a goner when his wife gets hold of him.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
UK: A person from Manchester.
Manchester is a City in the North of England. Originally a Roman settlement the Romans wisely decided to leave it were it was and for hundreds of years it stayed dormant until it erupted like a festering boil during the Industrial Revolution.
The Mancunian women live on Council estates and give birth to between 4-12 young during a lifetime of 40-50 years when they die off from obecity, excessive smoking and atmospheric pollution.
The young are allowed to run free as soon as they learn to walk at an age of 2-3 weeks and spend most of their time stealing, vandalising and spray painting and generally breaking everything in sight.
Despite the occasional temporary appearance of a Mancunian male in these nests, the young are often violent unpredictable creatures and a cattle prod is needed for proper guidance.
On trying to get a female to control its offspring she makes the usual cry off 'eeesGotNoooowareToooGoww!’ and will attempt repeatedly to cross a pair of underdeveloped stubby little arms over her massive pair of overused jugs.
Suggesting perhaps occasionally sending him/her into school for the day elicits a similar response.
The Governments efforts to build schools, colleges, libraries, leisure centres, parks, community centres, crèches in the area and having the biggest football ground in the country still do not help the situation as the females never move far from their daytime soapy television sets to learn of these things.
If the young see such a structure they naturally assume it has been put there for spray painting and have little more to do with it once it is completely coated in brightly colored paint exept perhaps to scent mark it by defecating or urinating on it.
The females when not watching daytime soaps enjoy going to shopping centres and walking into people, this pastime is often enhaced by the use of shopping trollies or specially sharpened prams. Sometimes they may take a break from this to go shoplifting or feed the numerous little ones at a ‘Mc’Donalds’.
The Mancunian male lives on Lager Vouchers and spend their day grouped together in a watering hole called ‘the pub’ drinking Boddingtons a yellow liquid that may be the cause of a nervous affliction called the Bodingtons Twitch if drunk in sufficient quantities.
For sport they wait for strangers to enter the pub and play a game called ‘Northern Hospitality’
Stage one Involves getting the stranger to answer a lot of questions and buy them all Bodingtons in vast quantities.
Stage two: Involves turning the back on the person and completely ignoring them except for chattering on like women do in the rest of the country and referring occaisionally to the now financially challenged stranger in the third person. This behaviour is common in most pubs in Manchester and quite well documented. The game is judged lost if the stranger manages to leave the pub with any money.
About 11.00pm they then go of to reproduce or sleep over at ‘mams’, failing that they will happily curl up in a ditch or under a sofa on a nest of empty beer cans, cider bottles, old newspaper and carrier bags till the pubs open again.
Fortunately Manchester is easy to spot from a distance as it lies in a bowl shape depression and from a distance the shimmering yellow layer of smog and smoke that builds up in this bowl due to gravity makes it easy to see and avoid.
Mancunians worship ‘Manchester United’ and on feast day the City comes to a halt for ceremonial fighting, prayer and ritual use of Boddingtons beer.
Dress: Track suits and stuff from thrift shops. They also tend to try and copy American fashion trends but do this very badly.
Music: Anything that they can buy in 4:4 time with no melody.
From a six year study based in Stretford, Manchester UK.
Manchester is a City in the North of England. Originally a Roman settlement the Romans wisely decided to leave it were it was and for hundreds of years it stayed dormant until it erupted like a festering boil during the Industrial Revolution.
The Mancunian women live on Council estates and give birth to between 4-12 young during a lifetime of 40-50 years when they die off from obecity, excessive smoking and atmospheric pollution.
The young are allowed to run free as soon as they learn to walk at an age of 2-3 weeks and spend most of their time stealing, vandalising and spray painting and generally breaking everything in sight.
Despite the occasional temporary appearance of a Mancunian male in these nests, the young are often violent unpredictable creatures and a cattle prod is needed for proper guidance.
On trying to get a female to control its offspring she makes the usual cry off 'eeesGotNoooowareToooGoww!’ and will attempt repeatedly to cross a pair of underdeveloped stubby little arms over her massive pair of overused jugs.
Suggesting perhaps occasionally sending him/her into school for the day elicits a similar response.
The Governments efforts to build schools, colleges, libraries, leisure centres, parks, community centres, crèches in the area and having the biggest football ground in the country still do not help the situation as the females never move far from their daytime soapy television sets to learn of these things.
If the young see such a structure they naturally assume it has been put there for spray painting and have little more to do with it once it is completely coated in brightly colored paint exept perhaps to scent mark it by defecating or urinating on it.
The females when not watching daytime soaps enjoy going to shopping centres and walking into people, this pastime is often enhaced by the use of shopping trollies or specially sharpened prams. Sometimes they may take a break from this to go shoplifting or feed the numerous little ones at a ‘Mc’Donalds’.
The Mancunian male lives on Lager Vouchers and spend their day grouped together in a watering hole called ‘the pub’ drinking Boddingtons a yellow liquid that may be the cause of a nervous affliction called the Bodingtons Twitch if drunk in sufficient quantities.
For sport they wait for strangers to enter the pub and play a game called ‘Northern Hospitality’
Stage one Involves getting the stranger to answer a lot of questions and buy them all Bodingtons in vast quantities.
Stage two: Involves turning the back on the person and completely ignoring them except for chattering on like women do in the rest of the country and referring occaisionally to the now financially challenged stranger in the third person. This behaviour is common in most pubs in Manchester and quite well documented. The game is judged lost if the stranger manages to leave the pub with any money.
About 11.00pm they then go of to reproduce or sleep over at ‘mams’, failing that they will happily curl up in a ditch or under a sofa on a nest of empty beer cans, cider bottles, old newspaper and carrier bags till the pubs open again.
Fortunately Manchester is easy to spot from a distance as it lies in a bowl shape depression and from a distance the shimmering yellow layer of smog and smoke that builds up in this bowl due to gravity makes it easy to see and avoid.
Mancunians worship ‘Manchester United’ and on feast day the City comes to a halt for ceremonial fighting, prayer and ritual use of Boddingtons beer.
Dress: Track suits and stuff from thrift shops. They also tend to try and copy American fashion trends but do this very badly.
Music: Anything that they can buy in 4:4 time with no melody.
From a six year study based in Stretford, Manchester UK.
by Blue Cawdrey November 19, 2004