A variety of chimp which has mastered the rudiments of speech. These creatures inhabit urban areas, attracted to cities by burger bars such as McDonald's. They can be trained to drive motor vehicles, which they frequently steal. Also known as nignogs.
My car's been nicked!
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
by Benny Twadge April 27, 2009
Get the talking chimp mug.A huge bunch of keys carried by little fat security guards because it makes them feel important. The only keys actually used are the ones to his house, his mum's house and his silly white van. The 58 others are ones he's found.
Look at that guy's keyring! He must own lots of houses and cars.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
by benny twadge May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Keys mug.Fried chicken and rice and pea. These food items are never paid for, always stolen, because as everyone knows "chimp no need pay mon".
Chimp in takeaway: me wan' fried chicken and rice and pea mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
Get the Chimp Food mug.A filthy article that has never been washed but which Pork Scotch uses to dry dishes. Normal people don't go near it apart from when they use it to kill spiders or to wipe up gunk from the kitchen floor.
Flondibulus: Bog roll's finished, is there any more?
Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.
Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.
by Benny Twadge May 19, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Tea Towel mug.A monster in almost-human form that dates clinically-obese security guards. Also known as Girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher, this vile creature is so horrifically ugly that those who look at it have been known to retch with such violence they vomit their livers out onto the ugly bitch's shoes.
Oh shit, its The Thing!
What?! You don't mean The Thing With Teeth Halfway Down Its Neck?
Yes! Nogtard vomited his liver on the bitch's shoes last week.
I know. The Porky Scotcher picked up the liver and barbecued it.
What?! You don't mean The Thing With Teeth Halfway Down Its Neck?
Yes! Nogtard vomited his liver on the bitch's shoes last week.
I know. The Porky Scotcher picked up the liver and barbecued it.
by Benny Twadge May 24, 2009
Get the The Thing With Teeth Halfway Down Its Neck mug.Look at that fat old twat with an iPod.
You're talking stupid. That fat twat is Pork Scotch.
Ah! So its a Pork Pod!
You're talking stupid. That fat twat is Pork Scotch.
Ah! So its a Pork Pod!
by Benny Twadge August 16, 2009
Get the Pork Pod mug.Alternative name for the Pork Scotch Van or half-car after a huge frozen dump was put on the roof of it. The crap thawed out overnight and was nicely baking in the sun the next day before the Scotchers emerged for their daily jaunt to buy barbecue food. Scotchy didn't spot it at first so he drove round with a turd just a few inches from his fat bald koala head.
Bloody hell what's that I can smell?
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
by Benny Twadge August 22, 2009
Get the Scotchy's Shit-Wagon mug.