11 definitions by Bag O'Turnips

Top Definition
(Australian/English slang) Uncircumcised penis, i.e. intact with the foreskin concealing the glans, which to some, strangely resembles the soft, crumpled woolen headwear!

Antonym: Helmet
When I was at high school, we'd play handball and often separate into different teams using physical aspects, such as light hair vs. dark, talls vs. shorts and of course, beanies vs. helmets!
by Bag O'Turnips April 14, 2008
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Australian slang for a panel van, fitted out with the minimum of a mattress (but often quite elaborately decked out) and primarily used with the aim of using it to perform horizontal folk dancing in. "If it's rockin', don't bother knockin'" sums up the leitmotif of the sin bin owner very neatly.
An appropriate bumper sticker on a panno used a sin bin would be "if it's rockin', don't bother knockin'!"
by Bag O'Turnips April 08, 2008
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An internal cumshot: when the penis has ejaculated semen inside the vagina and is about to be (or is) oozing out of the orifice. Often referred to as a creampie. I'd think twice—or maybe ask very nicely—if any café had either that or the spunk brûlée desserts on offer…hmm…not on the cake shelf, but one of the waiters may find me one out the back or help me make one…
Ingredients for Spunk Brûlée:
-1 Custard gun, loaded with man paste
-1 Hair pie base
-Fuck butter (self-saucing) to rub

Take the custard gun, ensuring it is well charged with man paste and place it, initially gently, into hair pie base and massage in a light back-and-forth motion. Gradually allow fuck butter to undertake self-saucing action during this movement. Gradually increase speed of back-and forth motion, but do not rush through this—take plenty of time, as satisfaction will then be likely. Once sufficiently stirred, then release trigger of custard gun towards base of hair pie. Once contents have been disgorged, remove. Can be completed by either allowing to set in oven or alternately, can be slowly tipped out of pie, providing an attractive drip glaze finish. Can be optionally accompanied with snowballs for a shared dessert delight.

Enjoy ; )
by Bag O'Turnips April 14, 2008
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This is a condition whereby where someone, usually at a most inconvenient time (e.g. dinner time or during prime-time TV), cold-canvasses you via the telephone and insists that you should give them money for their most worthy cause, all the while putting on the violins re the dire straits that these poorly recipients endure and how you'd be such a great person if you slip them a hundred with your response being, "yes, it is a most worthy cause and yes, I feel sorry for their plight, but I can barely keep my own head above water, let alone be able to throw money I don't have and besides, I don't appreciate being called as I'm trying to have dinner! Sorry, but no thanks and good evening!", slamming the phone down.

Charity fatigue is caused ultimately by the ever-increasing phenomenon of self-interest fostered in societies that have had a paradigm shift from believing it was a civic responsibility for the better-off to protect the less fortunate to that of a user-pays, dog-eat-dog, each-for-themself dystopia. And as a result, the disadvantaged have to scrape together their own resources, competing not only against other charities, but vying for the carity most of us cannot afford to give due to the need for us to service our own out-of-control disease of consumerism.

Residual effects of charity fatigue include in the short term mild guilt pangs from knowing that you have refused thier request for assistance towards their worty cause, which soon converts to irritation from having had your quiet/fun time rudely interrupted by their unsolicited call and the self-righteous indignation caused from wondering if much of what they've thus far been given is used for marketing their cause, thus annoyed at the potential fact that any money you might donate could end up in either a telemarketer's (and their superiors') hands or line the pockets of some marketing hack…oops…consultant, rather than actually end up with the purported recipients.

The long-term consequences of charity fatigue include a hardening of one's heart towards charity campaigns in general, cynicism towards all levels of government when they indulge in corporate welfare, cold dinners, missing important news items or storylines and a desire to add one's self to the "do not call" lists of the various databases that these charities get your telephone number from.
As much as I would like to see that the disadvantaged get a fairer slice of the pie, I cannot help but suffer from charity fatigue when numerous charitable causes call me, constantly asking me to donate money I cannot afford to give.
by Bag O'Turnips March 07, 2007
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Australian slang for a penis, neatly encapsulating the description of how that part of the male anatomy shoots with great force a fluid that ever-so-slightly resembles a globular, liquid dessert.

Also Custard Gun was the original name of the legendary 1990s Brisbane AU band Custard: name truncated for obvious reasons!
I drizzled my gf's donut with a healthy glaze courtesy of my custard gun. Mmm!
by Bag O'Turnips April 14, 2008
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(Australia) A type of vehicle largely unique to Australasia, based upon a coupé utility with its design derived from that of the car company's (generally) large passenger car. Originally from the mid-1950s and used for commercial and goods transport use, they eventually became popular by young men (especially surfie culture) in the mid-late 1970s) as both a camper vehicle or a mobile boudoir. Built by GM Holden (Kingswood, Sandman), Ford Australia(Falcon, Sundowner) and Chrysler Australia (Valiant, Drifter), the recreational variants being the latter name in the brackets.
"Hey, check out Bob's rusted-out Falcon panel van."
"Well, somehow it's still chuggin' along 30 years later"!
by Bag O'Turnips April 08, 2008
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This is a completely subjective, yet somehow measurable scale of how precious, wanky, artsy-fartsy, self-indulgent, too-kewl-for-skewl, deliberately obscure, contrived, psuedo-intellectual…you get my drift…basically anything pretentious…is. If it seems to fit any of the aforementioned descriptions, then it is often claimed to have a "High Wank Factor".

But this scale is not merely restricted to putting the mockers on the clever-dick types, oh, no! Also plebians who partake in the pursuit of pop culture aren't spared from being rated on the wank factor: the ones who get a high score amongst the various sub-cultures of mainstream society include the right-wing commentariat, all who are involved in reality TV, lifestyle shows, boy bands, advertising, etc., wiggaz pooncing about in Wu-Tang or FUBU, rice burner Lancers or Civics that have still have drainpipe mufflers with the base carby engine…list goes on…basically, any jumped-up pleb thinking they're more sophisticated than the rest of the common herd.
1. Some people would claim that many of the radio programmes featured on ABC Radio National have a high wank factor.

2. Yeah, that wannabe Lancer GL-pretending-to-be-a-Lancer Evo VII is sooo lame, scoring high on the wank factor for it's pissy little rear drum brakes showing behind the licorice-strapped 20-inch wheels, bouncing off the road with its doof-doof from its subwoofer.
by Bag O'Turnips February 07, 2007
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