Skip to main content

Definitions by Assex 776

rap sucks 

Possibly the truest statement of fact ever uttered by humankind

A phrase that's been around since rap was invented during the disco craze of 1979, when rap was rebuffed as a trendy fad that would be over in six months; no such luck unfortunately

Something that would get your throat slit in prison, if you said it
"Rap fucking sucks," Sam Kinison

"Your husband probably shouldn't have gotten that RAP SUCKS tattoo on his asscheek, before being sent to prison," Peg Bundy
rap sucks by Assex 776 October 14, 2007
1-A teenage boy who gets cornholed in prison by an adult man

2-A form of music that used to be relevant 20 plus years ago but is now more about look than attitude
1-"Nigga, you be my punk. Now bend over," Tookie Williams, RIP

2-The Ramones and the Misfits were extremely energetic, exciting, hard rock bands that were punk rock without even having to try hard at all.

Any band where the singer wears a sweater or clothes he bought at the mall and sings about 11 y/o girls and/or breaks into a rap in the middle of the song is a mall punk and not to be taken seriously by anyone over the age of 15.
punk by Assex 776 October 14, 2007
The city that everyone else in America fears yet secretly admires and/or wants to visit.

A place where you can drop a cool million bucks in an afternoon buying things that will go out of style next week.

A town as culturally alien to the residents of Des Moines or Omaha as Moscow or Baghdad is and vice versa.

Where Jews outnumber Protestants 14 to 1. Heck, even Muslims and Hindus outnumber Protestants in NYC.

A place that elected Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani and will be forever blamed for anything either one of them does in the Oval Office.
NYC is like 114 Oklahomas rolled up into six square blocks.
NYC by Assex 776 October 5, 2007

brad pitt 

An actor that is easily so good looking he could pass for gay.

He was born in rural Springfield, Missouri, and actually spent his life being the outdoorsman he plays in many of his movies.

A man over 40 with perfect abs, blonde hair and buns of steel. Someone Hitler would have been strongly attracted to sexually.

Went from having the grunge look with long girly hair in the 90s to being more spiked up and "macho" in later years.

Is in a contrived relationship with actress Angelina Jolie, who is part black.
Brad Pitt gets all the girls, but he really wants all the boys.
brad pitt by Assex 776 September 30, 2007

greed day 

A band from the San Francisco (hippy) bay area, who put out million-selling albums recorded in the same lavish studios used by pop singers like Kid Rock rather than the dust bins that bands like Black Flag recorded in.

Punk looking band with a few cool riffs and some OK songs.

Extremely overrated compared to more innovative punk bands of the past (D.I., Dead Kennedys, Circle Jerks, etc.)
Greed Day isn't the only pop punk group these days that totally sucks, but they seem to be more conspicuous about their love of money than the average so-called punk rockers.
greed day by Assex 776 September 29, 2007

Eddie Vedder

A San Diego-based rock star/surfer who took over the helm of the moribund, Seattle, grunge band Mother Love Bone and turned it into the mega-platnum, hit machine Pearl Jam in 1991.

Sang on the album Ten which was one of the five most influential albums of the 1990s (along with Nirvana's Nevermind, Dr Dre's the Chronic, Alice in Chains' Facelift and Slayer's Seasons in the Abyss)

Is an example of a good yuppie - rich but cares about the environment, ending racism/sexism/homophobia and electing liberal Democrats to office.

Used to swing from the rafters like Tarzan and give free concerts like the Day on the Green in Lawrence, Kansas, in 1992. (I was there).
"I'm Eddie Vedder, and I care about the environment."

Thousands of sexy chicks cheer and throw their panties on the stage.
Eddie Vedder by Assex 776 September 29, 2007

government employees 

A collection of people too dumb, bald, lazy, handicapped, fat, black or old to get a job in corporate America.

The last refuge for dumb liberals.
That lady that looks like she crawled out of a barell of nuclear waste ... the one that takes three smoke breaks an hour ... she's been eating ho hos all day ... the one who speaks ebonically ... yeah, her, the fat one with tattoos on her neck ... she's one of those typical government employees
government employees by Assex 776 September 28, 2007