Alhadis's definitions

Crane

1) A type of wading, marsh-dwelling, long-legged bird
2) A machine utilised by builders as construction equipment, to shift heavy loads, materials, or supplies
3) (informal) An exceptionally attractive member of the opposite sex, typically a female.

1) Wow, check out the legs on those cranes!
2) This crane's getting old... I'm not sure if it's gonna withstand the rust any longer.
3) Wow! Check out the legs on those cranes!

by Alhadis June 29, 2004

Anti-gamer

Somebody who still refuses to accept that video games have become a major and defining element of our culture. The belief that only lonely, agoraphobic and pencil-necked geeks play computer games is an archaic stereotype, and Anti-gamers primarily believe only geeks and nerds spend their time playing video games. In reality, this is pretty much the same as saying "only sluts ever have sex". Today, everybody plays video and computer games; anti-gamers tend to show soccer-mum qualities and *really* need to wake up and get with the times.

Anti-gamer: "You play video games...? Man, you really need to get a fucking life."
Gamer: "So kickin-ass in Half-life 2, Splinter Cell, and a dozen other ass-kicking FPS with a massive ring of friends over Xbox-live or LAN parties makes me a geek? I think you need to follow your own advice about getting a life, pal. This isn't the 80s, anymore."

Anti-gamer: "Yeah, whatevs. I'm sure all your "friends" are geekish losers who can't get any sex so they spend all their time jerking off over Lara Croft's fake tits."
Gamer: "Uh-huh. I'm sure all your 'friends' are narrow-minded jocks and brainless preps who haven't realized that a large ring of friends playing over Xbox live, or something, is just another way for friends to hang out and enjoy each other's company."

by Alhadis March 29, 2005

Zoidberg

Despite being the 'unpopular' character in the series, Dr. John Zoidberg is one of the most popular characters of the hilarious show Futurama, known for his voracious appetite, strange mating rituals, and complete ineptitude at dealing with human patients. Speaking of which, he's not human; he's a giant lobster. Who wears sandals. Is also known for his famous "w00p w00p w00p w00p" noise he makes when running away from danger. Loved by fans of the show, hated by the characters (For being lazy, disgusting and glutenous). Second only to Bender in hilarity.

(Planet Express has been blown back through time to the 1950s, the site of Roswell Air base, and Zoidberg has been captured by army recruits and is being interrogated by President Truman)
Truman: "If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If y'here to make war, *we* surrender."
Zoidberg: "Both good... the important thing is; I’m meeting new people."
President Truman: "Bush-wah! Now, what’s your mission? Are you planning to make some alien/human hybrid?"
Zoidberg: "Are you coming onto me?!"
President Truman: "Hot crackers! I take exception to that!"
Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a no..."

by Alhadis July 29, 2008

Jesus H. Christ

A phrase used to express particular suprise, disgust or shock to an instance, as emphasized by the "H" (which stands for "Holy"). It's used in the same context as "Jesus Christ!", except the H is added to include greater emphasis on the concern.

Note: The phrase is no more-or-less blasphemous than "Jesus Christ"

"Jesus H. Christ, you scared the shit outta me!"

by Alhadis June 17, 2004

Terry Pratchett

Despite being one of the funniest writers alive, and having a nearly unsurpassed level of creative genius, this man is *still* largely underrated as one of England's most brilliant writers, with writers like J.K. Rowling walking away with the most fame and recognition for books that are, in comparison to the Discworld novels, overrated piles of crap. There's nothing in Terry Pratchett's works that could make me keep a straight face- EVER, and each novel is utterly hilarious in a well-worded, balanced fashion that conveys a distinctive style of British humour that's become Terry Pratchett's style. The man might be coming along in his years, but he's shown NO signs of slowing down over the years... hilarious, creative, witty, and able to write novels that're both clever and compelling without overdoing humour or storyline. That's the true essence of Pratchett's genius; not just being funny, but keeping readers involved in the book rather then the jokes alone.

Pick up one of his novels and give yourself a laugh. If you find yourself reading through at least a single chapter and can't laugh at least ONCE, you're in need of some serious psychological assistance.

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set fire to the man and he's warm for the rest of his life." ~ Jingo, another of Terry Pratchett's more well-known novels.

by Alhadis July 31, 2008

Grue

Comes from the Old English verb for "shudder" (presumably the origin of the modern word "gruesome" as well; literally "shudder-some"). Grues are creepy, sinister creatures from the Zork series, the oldest and most influential of the old text-based adventure games. They're hardly ever seen because they despise light and only emerge in areas of complete darkness, where they prey upon adventurers and enchanters. Easily pissed off and vicious, they're repelled by even the faintest glow of light; meaning that a simple torch can be enough to keep the grues at bay. They're mysterious; short of their glaring eyes and sharp fangs-and-teeth, nobody knows what grues look like, exactly. They're known for their constant slaving and gurgling, and especially their nasty tempers.

In the game's feedback display itself, the grues were often a warning that a user should start looking for a light source... badly. "You have entered a dark area. You will likely be eaten by a grue" was a common description in the Zork adventure games; adventurers going underground would be wise to bring a good supply of oil for a lantern. Once the lights go out, the grues swarm all over you (ripping you apart before the game gives you a death message, like "Grues eat well tonight"). Infocom's official description of the "grue" (notice the lack of plural; it was unclear in the earlier Zork instalments whether there was only *one* grue, lurking as a sinister presence in the underground's darkness... or more then one) is:

"The grue, according to scholars of the Great Underground Empire, is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favourite diet is either adventurers or enchanters, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its extreme fear of light. No grues have ever been seen by the light of day, and only a few have been observed in their underground lairs. Of those who have seen grues, few have survived their fearsome jaws to tell the tale. Grues have sharp claws and fangs, and an uncontrollable tendency to slaver and gurgle. They are certainly the most evil-tempered of all creatures; to say they are touchy is a dangerous understatement. "Sour as a grue" is a common expression, even among themselves."

Text-screen: "You have entered the crypt. A hallway slopes downwards before you, leading into pitch blackness."
User #1 (types in): "head downwards"
Screen: "You walk into the darkness. You will likely surely be eaten by a grue if you don't find a light source."
User #2 (talking to first user): "Dude, you're gonna get eaten by grues..."
User #1: "Don't worry, I brought a lantern." *types in* "take out lantern*
Screen: "You left the crypt door open. A draft blows through, putting out your lantern."
User #1: "Oh shits, I knew I should've brought a hooded lantern."
User #2: "Quick, light it again!"
User #1: "Can't, man. No oil or matches."
Screen: "Another wind picks up and closes the crypt's door, blocking out the moonlight."
User #1: "Oh man, no matches or anything...? We are *so* fucked..."
Screen: "It's nice and dark in here. Just the way the grues like it..." *screen goes black, followed by nasty growling sounds*
User #1: "Son-of-a-bitch... remind me to stick a rock in the door to keep it from blowing shut next time."

by Alhadis May 9, 2005

Breezertaal

Dutch slang referring to the usual chav/script-kiddie style of writing over IRC or MSN in distorted upper/lower-case (e.g., "cHeCK iT oUt i cAnT uSE a kEyBoARD cuz iM kOoL"). While the word is generally used in Holland, the actual writing "style" is to be encountered by IM-users anywhere around the world... generally because mindless chevs or ditzy 14-year old girls think it's "cool" to write sentences that make a reader's eyes bleed.

MSN user name #1: "iF yOU wAnT mE, cOMe aND gEt mE"
MSN user name #2: "i lUV jArED hes mY bOYfrIEND"
Insane Dutch reader: "Man, that's IT! I can't take anymore of this Breezertaal!"

by Alhadis June 26, 2005