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Alfie the Horndog's definitions

hero

Defined in the movie Serenity:

A hero is someone who gets a lot of OTHER people killed.
by Alfie The Horndog December 27, 2005
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Asgard

Historical protectors of the Nodic realm. The Asgards are the primary reason the Nordic people didn't turn out as gay as people from Greece.
The reason that Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great was because of the ass-guard worn by many Nordic warriors.
by Alfie The Horndog July 24, 2008
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windwow

Another way of spelling "window". It must be ok, because if you google "windwow" you come up with thousands and thousands of hits - even linked to companies who manufacture and sell windows.

This word originated back in the early '70s when my sister typed up a Christmas poem parody I wrote called "Christmas in the '70s" as a parody of "T'was the Night Before Christmas".

Anyway, the last lines in the poem went like this:

He staggared to his sleigh and his team made a fixture,
And away they all flew, like a horror picture.
But I heard him exclaim, from his sleigh window sill,
"I'll sue you if you don't pay the bill!"

But she made a typo when she typed "window"... she actually typed "windwow". In fact that was the only mistake she made in typing up the entire thing. This was like the fourth time she had typed it in because I complained about other typos in previous drafts.

So when I complained about "windwow", she grabbed it and put a line through the second "w" and gave it back to me, and that's when I realized that she wasn't going to type it in a fifth time. I think it was at that very moment when I ceased in being a perfectionist.

Anyway, since that fateful day, whenever I wrote the words "window" or "windows", I intentionally spelled it "windwow" or "windwows" instead. This is especially noteworthy since I now work as a columnist for a computer magazine and have to write things about Microsoft Windwows a lot. It drives my editor crazy.
Microsoft Windwows sure crashes a lot.
by Alfie The Horndog October 2, 2007
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Emily Post

The woman who literally wrote the book on etiquette. Also used as an antonym for anyone who has bad manners or doesn't care about manners.
You don't seem like the Emily Post type, so I'll go ahead and tell you the dirty joke.
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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Enya

A singer reknowned for her "natural" sound, even though she can't tour because the only way to duplicate that sound is in a music studio. Even her "beautiful vocals" are enhanced by computer.
Enya fans are such hipocrites... There is absolutely nothing "natural" about Enya.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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wolfsbane

A flowering plant found in damp areas of the foothills of mountainous regions in Europe and Asia. It is a member of the buttercup family.

The roots of this plant are a powerful neurotoxin. A piece of the root half the size of a grain of rice can kill an adult human within five seconds. The military has adapted this neurotoxin in gaseous form for chemical warfare.

In Roman times it was used by the lady Lydia to poison anyone who posed a threat to her son Tiberius becoming Emperor. She even used it to kill her own husband.

Diluted, the roots can be used topically as a local anesthetic and numbing agent. It is an active ingredient in many over the counter nerve pain homeopathic remedies.
I gave my mother-in-law a wolfsbane plant for her birthday, but unfortunately she didn't eat it.
by Alfie The Horndog September 11, 2010
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