Sorry in advance, normally posts like yours that have shown today would have really made me smile.. but.. I don't even know, whatever I thought we had does not feel personal anymore
The name I mentioned on that IG page, showing up too many times directly, I'm blocked on an IG account I didn't even know about till a few days ago with posts I just wish I hadn't seen
I don't trust anything. Anything that happens or that I see, could just be more attempts to made me look stupid or make me do something far worse
Accounts here.. fuckin hell there's at least 4 that I'm sure are. Odd, fairly unique phrases reused an the style of writing
That brings me back to this though.. I genuinely don't know how to carry on posting here.. I believed something when I first wrote to you, an I don't think I do anymore. And that.. is killing me, some things meant so much to me.. I just feel a complete idiot
I will.. try to respond to your other stuff normally. But.. I feel like my world's collapsing.. an there's not a single fucking thing I can do about it
The name I mentioned on that IG page, showing up too many times directly, I'm blocked on an IG account I didn't even know about till a few days ago with posts I just wish I hadn't seen
I don't trust anything. Anything that happens or that I see, could just be more attempts to made me look stupid or make me do something far worse
Accounts here.. fuckin hell there's at least 4 that I'm sure are. Odd, fairly unique phrases reused an the style of writing
That brings me back to this though.. I genuinely don't know how to carry on posting here.. I believed something when I first wrote to you, an I don't think I do anymore. And that.. is killing me, some things meant so much to me.. I just feel a complete idiot
I will.. try to respond to your other stuff normally. But.. I feel like my world's collapsing.. an there's not a single fucking thing I can do about it
by 4_us November 13, 2023
What do you mean by protection? I haven't said anything that anyone else should know.. because I haven't told anyone a thing. I've avoided saying things because of that
Only for her though, I don't need protecting
Peanut butter.. definitely creamy. Everytime
See what I said about analogies.. the squirrel is a little confusing.. not sure if I'm reading them as intended..
The accounts on here make me question a lot. All of them.. but again, I don't feel very confident in anything right now so.. I'm struggling to have the enthusiasm I had before. This was literally.. all I looked forward to an now that's practically gone too
You have too many similarities, far too many. Creative I'm not too sure on, I don't know what's her or potentially someone else or even just something Iv fuckin made up
The rest though.. fit like a glove, that's if I assume she's the person I still think she is. I do still think that of her too.. it's about the only thing I'm holding onto.. I hate thinking about wrong about that, or that I'm even being forced into contemplating it
Only for her though, I don't need protecting
Peanut butter.. definitely creamy. Everytime
See what I said about analogies.. the squirrel is a little confusing.. not sure if I'm reading them as intended..
The accounts on here make me question a lot. All of them.. but again, I don't feel very confident in anything right now so.. I'm struggling to have the enthusiasm I had before. This was literally.. all I looked forward to an now that's practically gone too
You have too many similarities, far too many. Creative I'm not too sure on, I don't know what's her or potentially someone else or even just something Iv fuckin made up
The rest though.. fit like a glove, that's if I assume she's the person I still think she is. I do still think that of her too.. it's about the only thing I'm holding onto.. I hate thinking about wrong about that, or that I'm even being forced into contemplating it
Not sure if writing is helping. I said before.. I believed something about your writing, even though you said otherwise.. there were too many coincidences, way too many
Even down to the way you describe the moments between you, the way you talk about love.. what you want from him.. the depth of your feelings and passion.. so much felt like looking into a mirror
Stupid to carry on believing something when you're told otherwise.. there's just too much lately and nothing positive to counteract anything
She was off with me for so long, yes I fucked up but ultimately.. she removed me from her life, said what she said.. had her ex around constantly.. and been silent ever since
Looking at it from that point of view.. how the fuck can I believe anything now?
Worst still.. I saw her earlier.. an it has never.. hurt like that
Even down to the way you describe the moments between you, the way you talk about love.. what you want from him.. the depth of your feelings and passion.. so much felt like looking into a mirror
Stupid to carry on believing something when you're told otherwise.. there's just too much lately and nothing positive to counteract anything
She was off with me for so long, yes I fucked up but ultimately.. she removed me from her life, said what she said.. had her ex around constantly.. and been silent ever since
Looking at it from that point of view.. how the fuck can I believe anything now?
Worst still.. I saw her earlier.. an it has never.. hurt like that
by 4_us November 13, 2023
I never said that I wasn't him.. you've said that to me, multiple times
The coincidences are difficult. I said before, Il sound insane again but honestly, I don't care, Iv got nothing left to lose. I don't believe it. 1 or 2 yeah. Not to this extent, it's endless and some too strong to just ignore
That makes the way Iv felt the last days.. an the way I'm reminded of feeling now.. very difficult to understand
Both can't be true
I don't care who knows anymore, I keep to myself for her and Il stay that way
But anyone that may know cos of her, can shove their fuckin opinion, or Il do it for them. Anything either of us want has FUCK ALL to do with anyone else.. the next time anyone interjects into my life, it'll be the last mistake they make
Iv had to seriously stop myself several times the last few days. It felt so blatant.. an I was so fuckin angry
I forget sometimes when I'm down.. yeah I'm sensitive, an I love how passionately she makes me feel.. like nothing Iv ever known.. but men should be both sides of the coin
The lover your other half needs you to be for her
Or the beast you let loose to defend the things you love
The coincidences are difficult. I said before, Il sound insane again but honestly, I don't care, Iv got nothing left to lose. I don't believe it. 1 or 2 yeah. Not to this extent, it's endless and some too strong to just ignore
That makes the way Iv felt the last days.. an the way I'm reminded of feeling now.. very difficult to understand
Both can't be true
I don't care who knows anymore, I keep to myself for her and Il stay that way
But anyone that may know cos of her, can shove their fuckin opinion, or Il do it for them. Anything either of us want has FUCK ALL to do with anyone else.. the next time anyone interjects into my life, it'll be the last mistake they make
Iv had to seriously stop myself several times the last few days. It felt so blatant.. an I was so fuckin angry
I forget sometimes when I'm down.. yeah I'm sensitive, an I love how passionately she makes me feel.. like nothing Iv ever known.. but men should be both sides of the coin
The lover your other half needs you to be for her
Or the beast you let loose to defend the things you love
Noone stands for anything anymore.. most boys (not callin them men, that has to be earned) have zero respect for women, they put on a pretense to get laid an it's sad. No sense of honour.. no real pride.. and when their actions and words show they have no self respect, how the fuck could they ever respect anyone else?
Like that prick weeks ago. He has no idea the fuckin danger he put himself in. Too stupid to even sense what I am. Still feel like Im going correct that situation one day
Sorry I started ranting.. been building up for a while with UD and all the other crap I keep seeing lately
I will post again to actually answer the other stuff.. the bits I can make sense of that is
Like that prick weeks ago. He has no idea the fuckin danger he put himself in. Too stupid to even sense what I am. Still feel like Im going correct that situation one day
Sorry I started ranting.. been building up for a while with UD and all the other crap I keep seeing lately
I will post again to actually answer the other stuff.. the bits I can make sense of that is
by 4_us November 14, 2023
What do you think is misinformation? Some things Id made no sense of.. till something you said made things fall into place
In her situation I'd understand keepin some things concealed, but right now I have no idea what I believe. I wish I did.. so badly
Numbers.. fuck knows. I wrote a few for her at work. Some I saw here. Or random moments that felt like they had purpose.. then they showed up here too.. instantly
The thumbs too, sometimes felt like a date, the letters in a name, or should mean something deeper. Im starting dislike numerology 🙄 some still grab me.. ones I relate solely to her.. others.. seem make no sense anymore.. it really bothers me seeing them elsewhere here, or worse, posts with a name link to her ex
Thats made me question things, especially after everything else. That bothers me a lot
Hmm you would have had some feedback if youd done the olive thing and he'd seen it. I would have.. what did you do? How would he have seen it? I'm sure he can read yours.. but don't you think he'd understand you feeling sad? Seeing that in the woman you love.. is heartbreaking.. but it does let you see how much she cares too.. honestly with her.. I just want to see her.. thats all I ever want. It's killing me that I can't bring myself to look at her pictures now, just hurts too much
In her situation I'd understand keepin some things concealed, but right now I have no idea what I believe. I wish I did.. so badly
Numbers.. fuck knows. I wrote a few for her at work. Some I saw here. Or random moments that felt like they had purpose.. then they showed up here too.. instantly
The thumbs too, sometimes felt like a date, the letters in a name, or should mean something deeper. Im starting dislike numerology 🙄 some still grab me.. ones I relate solely to her.. others.. seem make no sense anymore.. it really bothers me seeing them elsewhere here, or worse, posts with a name link to her ex
Thats made me question things, especially after everything else. That bothers me a lot
Hmm you would have had some feedback if youd done the olive thing and he'd seen it. I would have.. what did you do? How would he have seen it? I'm sure he can read yours.. but don't you think he'd understand you feeling sad? Seeing that in the woman you love.. is heartbreaking.. but it does let you see how much she cares too.. honestly with her.. I just want to see her.. thats all I ever want. It's killing me that I can't bring myself to look at her pictures now, just hurts too much
Don't work nights anymore.. at all.. how did you figure my name out? Initial isn't enough.. I left a poem line unfinished.. I thought it was obvious the missing word was my name.. so the rhyme went with it would have given it away..
I'm curious to know that you're right though!
You are not a bother ever.. you said.. one of us being down seems to make the other stronger.. please don't tailor what you say to me.. you're entitled to speak your mind freely.. especially to me! Being so loving comes with the extremes of good and bad feelings.. still worth it though
You are brave.. maybe you should just go for it. You're brave, courageous, smart.. also.. sarcastic, a little crazy.. 😛 honestly just be yourself. That's why he loves you in the first place. Don't.. hold.. back
The 2 dots.. I always have.. why? Surely that doesn't have some meaning?!
Sad songs.. a few.. I sang a few with her.. now they just make me tear up everytime.. Hear you me by Jimmyeatworld is the worst
Mad.. usually metal.. Metalingus by alterbridge.. zombified by falling in reverse.. decadence by disturbed..
What about you?
Don't know how my posts will be in future.. things seem be slipping away recently. Not sure how to deal with any of it just yet..
Just know I've missed your words.. an you did.. get some form of a smile from me.. first time in days
I'm curious to know that you're right though!
You are not a bother ever.. you said.. one of us being down seems to make the other stronger.. please don't tailor what you say to me.. you're entitled to speak your mind freely.. especially to me! Being so loving comes with the extremes of good and bad feelings.. still worth it though
You are brave.. maybe you should just go for it. You're brave, courageous, smart.. also.. sarcastic, a little crazy.. 😛 honestly just be yourself. That's why he loves you in the first place. Don't.. hold.. back
The 2 dots.. I always have.. why? Surely that doesn't have some meaning?!
Sad songs.. a few.. I sang a few with her.. now they just make me tear up everytime.. Hear you me by Jimmyeatworld is the worst
Mad.. usually metal.. Metalingus by alterbridge.. zombified by falling in reverse.. decadence by disturbed..
What about you?
Don't know how my posts will be in future.. things seem be slipping away recently. Not sure how to deal with any of it just yet..
Just know I've missed your words.. an you did.. get some form of a smile from me.. first time in days
by 4_us November 14, 2023
The thought of you with another, pushes me to an edge I'm struggling to manage
My devotion and undying love.. made my heart stand firm, but now it feels like it's taking damage
I'm trapped, can't walk away, can't forget.. Iv known all this time that I have to wait
But I can't understand, the pain I have to endure. I can't find the reason behind my fate
My devotion and undying love.. made my heart stand firm, but now it feels like it's taking damage
I'm trapped, can't walk away, can't forget.. Iv known all this time that I have to wait
But I can't understand, the pain I have to endure. I can't find the reason behind my fate
Feel.. pt.1
by 4_us November 12, 2023
The thought of you with another, pushes me to an edge I'm struggling to manage
My devotion and undying love.. made my heart stand firm, but now it feels like it's taking damage
I'm trapped, can't walk away, can't forget.. Iv known all this time that I have to wait
But I can't understand, the pain I have to endure. I can't find the reason behind my fate
My devotion and undying love.. made my heart stand firm, but now it feels like it's taking damage
I'm trapped, can't walk away, can't forget.. Iv known all this time that I have to wait
But I can't understand, the pain I have to endure. I can't find the reason behind my fate
Feel.. pt.1
by 4_us November 12, 2023
I'm not sure lately, of just how I feel
I'm infinitely searching, I still can't tell what's real
Reminders of what I'm missing strike me like a blade driven into my chest
I'm gone, alone in silence now, wondering if my heart will ever again rest
It all means nothing without her there, I can't shake the feeling that's true
Pieces of my soul drift away from me, without her as my glue
No way to get the answers, to stop the visions that plague my mind
Sometimes I wish things I hadn't seen, would the pain be less if I were blind?
I know that's stupid. No matter how much it hurts, I know this is here to stay
Even with my thoughts, dark and cutting deep as these. I still can't walk away
What hurts most is that the things I see.. make my image of you a confusing shade of grey
I don't want to believe anything my mind says. It's forever leading me astray
I still feel something there, reaching out to me. Telling me not to leave
Every day without you is harder though, sometimes I feel like I can barely breathe
The small things I hold onto now.. could still be a part of some twisted game
I wish I could still look at your pictures.. but now its hurting me to even read your name
I'm sorry, if I caused all this.. you must know.. I never want to cause you pain
My heart was swept away by you.. like I'm forever caught in torrential rain
I'm infinitely searching, I still can't tell what's real
Reminders of what I'm missing strike me like a blade driven into my chest
I'm gone, alone in silence now, wondering if my heart will ever again rest
It all means nothing without her there, I can't shake the feeling that's true
Pieces of my soul drift away from me, without her as my glue
No way to get the answers, to stop the visions that plague my mind
Sometimes I wish things I hadn't seen, would the pain be less if I were blind?
I know that's stupid. No matter how much it hurts, I know this is here to stay
Even with my thoughts, dark and cutting deep as these. I still can't walk away
What hurts most is that the things I see.. make my image of you a confusing shade of grey
I don't want to believe anything my mind says. It's forever leading me astray
I still feel something there, reaching out to me. Telling me not to leave
Every day without you is harder though, sometimes I feel like I can barely breathe
The small things I hold onto now.. could still be a part of some twisted game
I wish I could still look at your pictures.. but now its hurting me to even read your name
I'm sorry, if I caused all this.. you must know.. I never want to cause you pain
My heart was swept away by you.. like I'm forever caught in torrential rain
by 4_us November 12, 2023