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Definitions by Uncle Dimma

a synonym (neutral or offensive depending on the situation/context) for a rookie or a newbie.
military drill sergeant (addressing a private): yo noob, what might your name be?

private: Sir, my name is Michael Jordan.

drill sergeant: lol, as in Michael Jordan the basketball star?

private: yes, since Jordan is my middle name and no because my last name is not Jordan.

sergeant: lol
noob by Uncle Dimma August 25, 2013

telling me your limo is triple parked 

(verb to be) inventing excuses, especially the same lame ones over and over again
Marge Simpson : Homer, please help me get Bart to do his homework, I don't know what to do with our rotten apple anymore.

Homer: Bart, you uptard, didn't you hear your mother and myself? go do your homework.

Bart (from somewhere in the house): I did do my essay, but unfortunately Nelson stole it and burned in the girls toilets, I will not waste my time redoing it.

Homer: speak to me comme du monde, young man. Are you telling me your limo is triple parked, again? (Homer now takes a broom and goes to Bart's room.

women points 

(not to be confused with man points):

N.B.: This concept may have come from John Gray's Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.

'points' that men, especially married men, get for doing typically female tasks like cooking, cleaning the house, taking the kids to school, etc.

(the wife now kisses and hugs the husband).
husband: Lily, dinner is ready

Lily: lol, that's an improvement, dinner was actually ready before I came home from work. So lol, that qualifies you for 5 women points... for a total, of let's see (starts counting)...25 this week.

husband: yay, i have a total of 25 women points this week. Let's see if i can get more next week.
women points by Uncle Dimma August 25, 2013

Hannibal Lecter humor 

Sexually perverted, sadistic, dark and sexually inappropriate humor
This definition of Hannibal Lecter humor refers to a type of humor that only Hannibal Lecter, the character from both the book trilogy and the movies (Hannibal Rising, Hannibal, The Silence of the Lambs and Red Dragon, in chronological order), would find 'funny'.
(ante scriptum): the opposite of a post scriptum (P.S.), seen at the beginning, rather than the end, of formal classical letters (physical forms of correspondence other than e-mail, fax, Skype, youtube, or phone-if anyone knows what those are anymore, in a tech dominated world!). It can also serve as an opening N.B. statement.
boy 1) if we have a P.S., why do we need an A.S. anyways; why not just use the classical N.B. as an opening statement instead?

boy 2) if a P.S. exists, why not lol, f-sag invent an A.S.?
A.S. by Uncle Dimma August 21, 2013

politically incorrect 

a) (adj): the exact opposite of what is considered 'politically correct' in one's zeitgeist.

(nouns)

b) what the modern mediacratic society doesn't want you to become, so can it better manipulate you through the media and through meaningless commercials, by screaming to you "kisch mein royal tuchess (translated to English as 'kiss my royal behind',קוש מיין רויאַל טאָכעס in it's original Yiddish)

c) a type of slang language, a sort of unintelligible double-speak to people who are politically correct, used among politically conscious individuals to say, in public, exactly what they mean and mean exactly what they say, politically speaking.
politically incorrect individuals, compared to the rest of the ignorant masses, are politically conscious simply because they know by heart, and understand the essence of, Rene Descarte's Latin phrase cogito ergo sum.

my week with Marilyn

N.B.: The Marilyn referred to in the definition is Marilyn Monroe. The phrase itself, 'my week with Marilyn' is also the title of a post-Harry Potter Emma Watson movie in which a character played by Emma Watson either goes (or wants to or needs to go back- I forget which one) in time to spend a week with Marilyn Monroe.

one's encounter with a celebrity
boy a): what did you get for your birthday?

boy b): Lol. I got my week with Marilyn from my parents. I met Larry King from Larry King Live when he came to speak as a guest on a local tv show and I was in the audience.

boy a) wow