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Definitions by Uncle Dimma

to discover

not to be confused with, and the exact opposite of, to invent.
If you are a serial murderer you can be telling me your limo is triple parked all you bloody want; you are not the brightest lightbulb in the chandelier. Forensic science is there to discover exactly what the 5 journalistic w's and h are in your specific case.
to discover by Uncle Dimma February 13, 2014

either you eat bacon, or you are wrong

(N.B.: this phrase is said to someone to make them realize how silly/ridiculous/ coolidiculous their point of view of view is, in terms of the scientific evidence to the contrary to said point of view.

a phrase meaning

"there is no point in arguing with you because you adamantly continue claiming your point of view, even in the face of scientific evidence (or mass popular opinion in the secular world) to the contrary."
Aunt Petunia : Harry, you dress so terribad.

Harry : lol. either you eat bacon, or you are wrong, right? If i would conduct an opinion poll among Hogwarts students, 100% of them would say I dress normally for my school and my generation.

kiss Don Corleone's ring, or die

(Bonus points if you can tell me where this phrase originated in popular culture): doff me a hat and respect my authority or else...suffer the unpleasant consequences of not doing so.
mother: I am taking over as the Don Corleone of this house; enough is enough. David, you are such a rotten apple. now it's time for you to either kiss Don Corleone's ring, or die. Or you can shack up with your girlfriend and flap your own wings; the ball is in your half court.

David: Since I am too late to save my sinking Titanic, what are the consequences?

mother: you are going to save your sinking Titanic or you can try to flap your own wings.

Deutsche schwein 

No smoking in cars with minors in them allowed, you deutsche schwein
Deutsche schwein by Uncle Dimma February 13, 2014

lava explosion 

a) (for men) : a more sperm-abundant than usual ejaculation
b) (for women) a more forceful, in terms of quantity, distance etc, expulsion of liquid during squirting
when you open happiness, you can be sure a lava explosion will follow.
lava explosion by Uncle Dimma February 13, 2014

hitting the sauce 

(N.B. not to be confused with a sauce hitter, a noun and related term

verb: being a gas wholesaler/pundit, talking intellectual sounding nonsense about any given scientific discipline, without knowing much about said discipline.
boy : Is barium chloride edible?

mother: Victor how dare you talk such nonsense when you've been educated in one of the best private schools in the country? Please stop hitting the sauce, all right? And if you're going to continue in the same vein in our relationship itself will start to hit the fan; I won't stand for it to have a sauce hitter in my house.
hitting the sauce by Uncle Dimma February 13, 2014

lava explosion 

a) (for men) : a more sperm-abundant than usual ejaculation
b) (for women) a more forceful, in terms of quantity, distance etc, expulsion of liquid during squirting
when you open happiness, and i mean real happiness, you can be sure a lava explosion will follow.
lava explosion by Uncle Dimma February 12, 2014