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the turtle is sniffing the cotton 

A statement made when one urgently needs to take a large dump. This is a visual reference referring to a piece of feces (the turtle) hanging out of the rectum, and "sniffing" one's underpants. This can also can be used to describe the moments prior to soiling yourself.
Brad: "Hey Alice, let's go have sex!"
Alice: "Hell no, after eating that egg salad the turtle is sniffing the cotton"

Carl: "Forget the roller coaster guys, the turtle is sniffing the cotton"