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parasitic troglodyte

An intensely ugly, unattractive, unwanted person. Often used in a self-degrading way. Someone of low intelligence, a Neanderthal.
Man, I made a stupid decision, I'm a parasitic troglodyte.

Sports Troglodyte 

One who takes excessive joy in watching any of the offerings of ESPN. These people would prefer watching mindless repetitive droning about irrelevant sports nonsense over more interesting channels such as The Science Channel, The History Channel, or any other cable channel providing any information that may be useful in any way.
I went to the gym today and all 10 TVs were on ESPN. God I wish those sports troglodytes would at least sacrifice one of their precious TVs so we could at least watch something blow up on the history channel?
Sports Troglodyte by uuth September 30, 2010

Troglodyte 

The kind of person that makes you wonder why humans aren't extinct yet.
Goddamn it Ron, why can't you just figure the fuck out how to play Hungry Hungry Hippos already you troglodyte.
Troglodyte by golira_the_first January 21, 2019

Troglodyte 

People who touch the screen of the apple computer in the uni library even though they’re not touchscreen
Which troglodyte has put their greasy fingers all over the fkin screen
Troglodyte by Troglodyte Hunter December 9, 2019

Troglodyte Salad 

A build up of miscellaneous dingleberries, typically found around the anus.
After days of improper hygiene, John had Troglodyte Salad stuck in his ass hairs.
Troglodyte Salad by One Two February 6, 2008

ESPN Troglodyte 

A person, typically male and characterized by a low IQ, obsession with sports and a macho or jockish demeanor. The typical ESPN Troglodyte feels an almost primal need to watch hopelessly repetitive ESPN offerings such as Sportscenter. These people subscribe to the ESPN orthodoxy that any and all material displayed on ESPN with the exception of watching an actual game in progress is supremely relevant. These people tend not to understand that most of this material is in effect filler used to fill the void between tidbits of potentially interesting professional sport related news. Any unexpected break in viewing (for instance, changing the channel or momentarily blocking the screen by walking between it and the viewer) will cause the ESPN Troglodyte great discomfort and on occasion will cause the ESPN Troglodyte to lash out verbally or physically.
I went to the gym today, All three TVs were showing Sportscenter. I decided to protect my mind from being turned to mush by changing one to the Science Channel. As soon as I did an ESPN Troglodyte began heaping his abuse on me demanding that I change it back. WTF?
ESPN Troglodyte by uuth October 22, 2010