One who takes excessive joy in watching any of the offerings of ESPN. These people would prefer watching mindless repetitive droning about irrelevant sports nonsense over more interesting channels such as The Science Channel, The History Channel, or any other cable channel providing any information that may be useful in any way.
I went to the gym today and all 10 TVs were on ESPN. God I wish those sports troglodytes would at least sacrifice one of their precious TVs so we could at least watch something blow up on the history channel?
A person, typically male and characterized by a low IQ, obsession with sports and a macho or jockish demeanor. The typical ESPN Troglodyte feels an almost primal need to watch hopelessly repetitive ESPN offerings such as Sportscenter. These people subscribe to the ESPN orthodoxy that any and all material displayed on ESPN with the exception of watching an actual game in progress is supremely relevant. These people tend not to understand that most of this material is in effect filler used to fill the void between tidbits of potentially interesting professional sport related news. Any unexpected break in viewing (for instance, changing the channel or momentarily blocking the screen by walking between it and the viewer) will cause the ESPN Troglodyte great discomfort and on occasion will cause the ESPN Troglodyte to lash out verbally or physically.
I went to the gym today, All three TVs were showing Sportscenter. I decided to protect my mind from being turned to mush by changing one to the Science Channel. As soon as I did an ESPN Troglodyte began heaping his abuse on me demanding that I change it back. WTF?