schlemie 

Woman who has low self-esteem and will aggresively pursue love and affection from anyone, no matter how rancid they may be.

"I cannot believe Jane is with that nasty guy Craig, she has very low self esteem, she is a major schlemie!!"

schlemie by Bena Girl August 8, 2005

hammacher schlemmer 

A magazine filled with hella expensive stuff no one would use in real life. The magazine was created for billionaires and rich, ass white people to spend the extra million dollars they find between their couch cushions on.

"Honey, pass me that Hammacher Schlemmer magazine," said Mark as he put on his gucci sunglasses.

hammacher schlemmer by RealSh*t September 25, 2013

schleimer

in german speach a schleimer(for she "schleimerin") is a person whos head is proverbial sticking in ones ass - for a schleimers advantage... also the austrian (a german dialekt) word "oarschkriacha" - something like (free translated) asscrowler means the same.
a person veryvery nice too other people only for getting into better positions.

upwards he´s a schleimer downwards he kicks

schleimer by martin mou newmiller December 24, 2006

Von Schlemmer 

A fictional character from the Sonic the Hedgehog animated series who enjoys staying in the cooler

Guy1:I went to get a soda and jeff jumped out of the cooler and scared the hell outta me

Guy2:Von Schlemmer?

Von Schlemmer by craz kylo May 23, 2008

Shlemiel 

From Yiddish origin. A clumsy, inept, or foolish person.

As quoted from the film Independence Day:

"If I knew I was going to meet the President I would have wore a tie. I mean look at me, I look like a shlemiel."

Shlemiel by Mata99 May 30, 2009

schlemiel 

a habitual bungler, a klutz

A schlimazel's toast always falls butter-side down. A schlemiel always drops the knife.

schlemiel by mandingoe September 24, 2004

schlemiel 

A person so inept even inanimate objects pick on them.

Don't let that schlemiel touch anything. If it doesn't break he will hurt himself or both.

schlemiel by Frank Lisa August 8, 2006