Hooked On Phonics 

A prgram for illiterate people, mostly children. It teaches how to read and write through different exercises. You can get it by dialing 1800-ABC-DEFG

How the hell am i supposed to order hooked on phonics by dialing ABCDEFG if i can't read?

Hooked On Phonics by Diego Giraldez December 28, 2005

Phonics Monkey 

The Phonics Monkey from that one episode of South Park where Cartman misspelled CHAIR in a spelling bee. When Cartman tried to get help from the phonics monkey, it just started beating off behind its drumbset.

A consumer report included the growing number of returns of the infamous reading product, the Phonics Monkey, which just turns out to be a degenerate species of bonobo chimp.

Phonics Monkey by aka_Pyro April 6, 2007

Hooked on phonics 

A program used by children to learn how to read. It is commonly used to describe a person who cannot read or pronounce words correctly. Alternatively, it can be used to insult a person who doesn't read well.

I don't know how to pronounce this (fucks the word up horribly). You know I'm hooked on phonics.

Jane: reads from a history book out loud in class, but stumbles through the reading.
Classmate: This bitch needs to be hooked on phonics.

Hooked on phonics by goodcrunchytaco January 28, 2021

hooked on phonics 

eh gratte prograyme thaat hellepede mei gette tou sekknd grayde verri eezilie. momiei aynd dadddiei r verri prowde ove mei beiycuz iey haav immprooved ay lotte!

houkkd oun fonnikz wourkd fuore mei!

hooked on phonics by houkkd oun fonnikz iz funn! October 5, 2003

phonics 

A base word that pertains to sound, communication, and pronunciation.

I hate the background music for the Hooked-On-Phonics commercial.

phonics by GalaxyDancer May 23, 2005

e-phonics 

The shortening or blatant misspelling of words in order to appear cool on the internet when really it comes across as ignorant.

Example of e-phonics in action:

Thatcalichick: OMG tht b0y is teh hottness.

Dizzybroad: O Rly? Do you want to sex0r him?

Thatcalichick: Ys Rly. W00T!

e-phonics by Melba Searcy April 12, 2007

Inappropriate Phonetics 

The use of an alternative phonetic alphabet, by those not having a grasp of the correct substitutions, using inappropriate words. These words usually being rude, crass or parts of the anatomy. The best time one should opt to use Inappropriate Phonetics would be when communicating by poor phone connection to a faceless call centre.

Yes I confirm my forename is John, that is Jism-Orgasm-Horny-Nuts, and my surname is Smith, that is Scrotum-Muff-Idiot-Twat-Hard.... Oh, you say you don't appreciate my inappropriate phonetics - how about we revert to the english alphabet and you could listen more carefully...

Inappropriate Phonetics by normanstanleyfletcher June 8, 2015