Masturbetes 

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

Masturbetes by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

Masturbreaker by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

masturbernation 

The act of masturbating vigorously and causing the individual to enter a deep sleep for a ridiculous amount of time.

When this semester is over I will reward myself a solid week of relaxing masturbernation.

masturbernation by Sinderton April 16, 2011

Masturburn

when you masturbate too much in a short period of time and your penis starts to hurt

"Dude I can't go on, i have major masturburn"

Masturburn by mysteryman125 March 4, 2008

masturbreak 

(n.) the act of taking a break from strenuous work to relieve stress through masturbation.

(n.) a unit of time spanning the end of one masturbation session until the next masturbation session until the completion of any strenuous work and/or project.

"damn nigga I had to take 12 masturbreaks during that Calculus 14 final, my dick feel like corn!"

"that fuckin essay took me 45 masturbreaks."

masturbreak by J.TSUI June 1, 2007

Masturberry 

An insulting term for a Blackberry phone poking fun at the excessive size and often unnecessary features. It equates ownership of the phone to "public masturbation" in that owning one is far too showy and ostentatious (often worn on a belt clip) and seems to stroke the suffering ego of the owner.

"Man, there's that assclown Chad with his Masturberry. He doesn't even have a job."

Masturberry by NotoriousCPR June 21, 2009

masturboredom 

When what you're jerking off to isn't very arousing.

This porn is masturboring.
I hit some serious masturboredom yesterday browsing.

masturboredom by Plastic Platypus December 20, 2009