Top definition
useless work used to torture billions of kids in this world
Jimmy had to do his long essay instead of playing outside with his friends.
by kaly January 02, 2004
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2
what you are probably avoiding doing by being on this website in the first place
essay? nah. ummm, lets seeee... Urban dictionary!
by curly dude January 23, 2011
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A ploy conceived by English teachers to show their jaded outlook towards students who are either too stupid to do it anyway, or are smart, but prefer pin-point to the point answering rather than spending five paragraphs trying to convince "X" to do "Y". They usually give people a week or so to do the essay, but it is known fact that nobody does the stupid things until the night before it's due.
Tom - "We're going to see a movie, wanna come along?"
Ray - "No, I've still got this clusterfuck of an essay to write."
William -"You mean the one where you have to write five pages about what your favorite aspect of Beowulf was and why?"
Ray - "Yep. See you guys monday."
by Insert Alias Here October 11, 2009
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4
The only thing worse than an essay is being mauled by a bear.
by Queen Wannahackalugee October 20, 2008
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5
a long, written, assignment that could have been explained in two or three sentences.
billy said: "instead of writing an essay on the brain i wrote this, 'the brain in the nervous center of the body. without it we would not be able to do things like breathe. it works by sending electric impulses to the muscles in your body...the end'"

((of course he got a F+))
by chiunit May 13, 2009
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6
assigned by teachers as a form of torture viewed as acceptable by society. Complaining to the teacher about the work it entails it wrong, but said teacher is allowed to bitch and moan about grading it as long as he/she pleases.
Yesterday Mrs. Bitchstein assigned us a 5 page essay to do overnight. Today she complained about grading it over the weekend. What a hypocrite.
by PissedHonorsStudent December 30, 2009
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7
In the educational system, an essay is a long informational paper that is supposed to be 3 or more pages long with an introduction, at least 3 "detailed" body paragraphs with "source citations" up the wazoo, a conclusion, AND a bibliography with at least (insert large number here) "reliable" sources (NOT Wikipedia). Oh, and did I mention that some of these sources need to be from books & magazines that we always need to run to the library for, too? The topics for these wretched pieces of work are almost always going to be out of your control, so prepare to write about absolute bull. Research for these papers require hours of web surfing and/or book searching, since you need both a "reliable" source and a source in which you can extract a considerable amount of info from. So don't be surprised if you find yourself venturing beyond page 2 of the Google results. In addition to the pain you must endure from just finding useful info in a sea of crap, you must also cite almost EVERYTHING using MLA Format, putting the icing on the cake of frustration. If you don't, your whole essay will be a complete waste (see plagiarism).If you are in high school or college, you also have to write a lengthy evaluation of the sources themselves in your bibliography (a.k.a. "Annotated Bibliography"), which means even MORE running around. Once that cluster of bull is dealt with, the average academic essay is done, and the hell-bent burden of essay writing is lifted. . . for now.
Man, I feel like I just wrote an essay about essays on UD, lengthy words and everything. I gotta lay down. . .

*1 week later*

Aw crap, now I got a legit essay to write. Welcome back to hell.
by BCB5 December 01, 2012
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