162
One who practices Judaism, which is THE original monotheistic religion. Though Jews constitute merely one quarter of one percent of the world population (about 1 in 400 people), approximately 25% of all Nobel Prizes are won by Jews. Additionally, only about 3% of America's population is Jewish, but Jews have a dominant presence in every top university in America (27% of Ivy League students are Jewish), as well as every professional field, ranging from medicine and law, to entertainment and film.

Many like to attribute Jewish success to reasons such as greed and thrift, and many even think Jews get preferential treatment - these accusations are foolish, and those who propagate them are ignorant to say the very least; Jews have faced the utmost degree of persecution for thousands of years, yet continue to disproportionately accomplish great things - not only in number, but also in magnitude. Furthermore, studies have conclusively shown that the average Jewish person has an IQ in the 85th percentile among their non-Jewish caucasian counterparts, and that Jews are six times more likely to have an IQ in the genius range (140 and above) than the average person.

More statistics:
- Almost half of the money contributed to democratic primaries have been from Jewish donors
- 40% of partners at the top NY and DC law firms are Jewish
- Jews constitute 30% of the faculty members at the 15 most elite American colleges
- 23% of the Forbes "500 richest Americans" were Jewish
- Half of all world chess champions have been Jewish

A mind-blowing number of the most prominent figures in history have been Jewish. As this (very short) list illustrates, they have been prominent in all aspects of life:

- Albert Einstein (theoretical physicist)
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg (supreme court justice)
- George Gershwin (music composer)
- Harry Houdini (magician, escape artist)
- Sigmund Freud (philosopher)
- Noam Chomsky (linguist, political activist)
- Steven Spielberg (movie producer)
- Sandy Koufax (baseball pitcher, hall of fame member)
- Joseph Lieberman (U.S. senator, should be vice president right now)
- Moses Horwitz, Samuel Horwitz, Louis Feinberg (the three stooges, pioneers in american comedy and popular culture)

Though no one may have the divine jurisdiction to dub themselves as "the chosen people", the Jews certainly make a good case for themselves.
Look at that Jew. He's so damn rich, smart and good-looking. I wish I could be more like him!
by Joshie Poopoo August 10, 2007

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163
Verb, to JEW.

The process by which someone manages to convince a reluctant person to give them something.
Michael has £10 which he was going to give to his son but Josh managed to jew it off him. (Josh has no foreskin)
by Toby_the_5_star_penis. December 09, 2008

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164
People who get unfairly blamed for everything. In reality, that's just because people are jealous of them because Jews are mega-rich. :)
Non-Jew: Everything is the Jews' faults!
Jew: You're just jealous because we're richer than you.
Non-Jew: *Sulks*
by dsgvvbsdkufbgs January 16, 2011

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165
The God himself, or the mysterious perfection and deification of the human character.
Not only do you need to have blood from one of the 12 tribes, but also study the mysteries of the Torah, oral law, and cabala to reach the status of a Jew.
by Mr. Illuminasty June 18, 2010

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166
1. A person who practices the religion of Judaism, regardless of his or her ethnicity.
2. A person who was raised in a Jewish family and considers himself an ethnic Jew.
3. A person who is intelligent and has an above average dick, but who doesn't brag about it because he doesn't want to make his Christian friends jealous.
I don't go to temple, but my father was Jewish. If you want to call me a Jew, that's fine with me.
by methehebrew100 August 20, 2009

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167
Jews are people who are often classified by non-Jews as "chosen." The latter group then starts hatin Jews for that designation.

According to Jewish law: If you mom is Jewish you are Jewish, even if you dont practice the Jewish religion/practice a different religion(that's why it has an ethnic aspect to it)

Judaism is an orthopractic religion, which means certain deeds/actions speak louder than someone's belief (in J.C. for example). That is why, while many Jews can be athesit, they will still celebrate holidays like Hannukah, Passover, Rosh Hashana etc...cause they are fun and have also become part of the culture.

If you want to become Jewish, you need to undergo orthodox conversion, and keep all the Jewish laws as described in the Jewish holy book, the Torah.

Not all Jews are Israelis, and not all Israelis are Jews. Nevertheless, Jews can become Israeli citizens very easily.

I am a Jewel and that kewl
by Jew-el September 06, 2007

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168
1) Person of Jewish Faith
2) A Pinny-Pincher (a tight wad)
3) What Hitler put in ash trays till we beat his ass
1) Kyle from South Park is Jewish!
2) Your as money hungry as a Jew!
3) The Holocaust sucks, eh Larry. Yea it does.
by TheGuyStandingBehindYou March 21, 2007

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